Alive Again
by Kick-it-up-a-knotch
Summary: Castiel Novak has the power to bring people back to life with a single touch. But if he touches them again, they die and stay dead. When Cas brings back estranged childhood friend Dean Winchester, how will the pair cope with never being able to touch again? And who even killed Dean in the first place? AU based on the TV show Pushing Daisies. Rating may go up later on. Destiel.
1. Prologue

**AU fic based on the TV show 'Pushing Daisies'. You don't have to have seen the show to understand, but I'd recommend watching it simply because it's fabulous. The fic wont follow the plot of PD after the first chapter or so, and it'll be all supernatural characters. Rating might go up in later chapters I've not decided yet. Enjoy! **

***I have no Beta so sorry in advance**

Castiel Novak had always been different. On the 27th of August 1983 he was 9 years, 0 months, 7 days and 24 minutes old. This was the first time he brought anything back to life.

Kneeling by the side of the road he frowned. He leant over the squirrel that a speeding car had just sent flying, it's neck was bent at an odd angle, but he couldn't stop himself from placing a finger on it's little chest to feel for a heartbeat. As soon as the tip of his index finger touched the creatures chest, it leapt up and scampered away. Castiel gasped and jumped backwards, his mind reeling from the event that had just occurred. The child ran back to his house, and was not there to see a bird fall from a tree exactly one minute later.

The implications of Castiel's gift did not become clear to him until 43 hours later. He was sitting in the kitchen gazing out of the window at his friend Dean playing across the street. Just then, there was a crash behind him and turned to see his mother on the floor. She was dead. An artery had burst in her brain, flooding it with blood and killing her instantly.

Castiel glanced around. His brother and sister weren't home, he was alone. Cautiously he bent down and touched his mother on the cheek. Her glazed eyes became light again, and she smiled.

'Must have slipped, must me more careful.' She said. And with that she stood up and resumed cooking. Castiel sat quietly. He was never one to make a fuss, and continued to eat his dinner. But even at the tender age of 9 years, 0 months and 7 days, he was aware that he had just performed a miracle.

However across the road, Dean Winchester was about to have a very different day. He was playing with his younger brother Sam in the garden while his father was watering the plants. John smiled at his boys and playfully sprayed them with water. Exactly one minute after Castiel performed the miracle on his mother, his smile froze on his face, and he keeled over backwards. The spark was gone from his eyes, and John Winchester was dead. This is where Dean's day differs from Castiel's. While Castiel had brought his parent back to life with a touch, no amount of begging, crying or touching was to bring Dean's father back.

Castiel sat and watched as an ambulance arrived to collect his best friends father. He tried to convince himself that the man's death was not his fault. But he had a feeling it was. A life for a life.

Later that night Castiel received a goodnight kiss from his mother. It was the last he would ever receive from her. The second her lips touched his forehead she became cold. A spark of electricity jumped from her to him, and she fell back on the floor dead. For good this time.

And so it came to pass, that three days later Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak would spot each other through the crowd of mourners at the funerals of their respective parents. United by grief the two friends walked towards each other seeking comfort and reassurance. On impact the children held each other and cried, each seeking out the warmth of another soul who had just become an orphan. Eventually they had to part, and the boys returned to their respective siblings to plant the bodies of their parents in the ground.

Castiel would not see Dean for 19 years, 5 months and three days.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It's 19 years 5 months and two days after the funeral of Castiel Novak's mother. This time will henceforth be known as now. We find Castiel working and living in a pie shop in New York. Baking has become his passion, and with the help of his sister Anna, and brother Gabriel he had been able to set up shop at 'the pie hole' two years previously. Castiel's fruit pies were well known for containing the freshest ingredients, and for good reason. With one touch his ingredients would be rejuvenated, and would never wither. As long as he only touched them once.

In the past 19 years Castiel had experimented with his gift. It soon became clear that it came with it's own rules and regulations. Instructions for use, if you will.

One touch, equals alive again. But the second touch, means dead. And dead forever.

The subject can be revived for one minute, and one minute only. Or else something else must die in it's place.

For this reason Castiel used his gift sparingly. He would use it on old fruit that had died, and some flowers in Anna's window box would die. However as she did not know about his ability, there was little she could do to pin it on him. And he enjoyed watching her sigh in exasperation as yet another batch of tulips withered away for no good reason.

In reality only one person knew of Castiel's gift other than himself, and that was his older brother, Gabriel. When Castiel was 12, Gabriel had packed a dead pigeon inside of Castiels school bag. Gabriel had sat in the back of the classroom, trying not to laugh as Castiel opened his rucksack to find the decomposing bird. Unfortunately for both of them, Castiel's finger brushed against a feather and the pigeon flew squawking out of the bag, and around the classroom. While Gabriel found this hilarious, it was not the joke he had intended to play. That night Gabriel confronted Castiel and the truth came out. Cas had to demonstrate on a few unfortunate insects before Gabriel had believed him, but soon enough the brothers found themselves sharing the secret.

This is where the story really starts. At 2.13 pm on a Monday afternoon. Gabriel and Castiel sit opposite each other in a booth at 'the Pie Hole'.

'Commmeee oooonnnn little brother!' Gabriel whined. 'Please please please for me?'

'No Gabriel, I've had enough'

'Ah but Cassie, it's not like we've not done it before! Please? I need your help'

'Well maybe if you didn't suck at being a detective, you could solve this without my help?'

Gabriel smirked. 'Yeah well what can you do little bro?, oh come on. One minute, and we can find out who killed this chucklehead, and I can solve a case and keep my job!'

Cas frowned. 'I have never known a private detective less willing to do their own job Gabriel'

'Oh you love me and you know it. Come on, just take half an hour off tomorrow, Meg will be fine holding the fort here, we go, you zap the sucker, ask him who killed him, errr kill him again, and we'll be on our way!'

Castiel sighed. Once again he was being dragged into a life of cons and tricks by his brother. 'Fine, but just once more ok'

'Yeeesss! You wont regret it man.'

Castiel was sure he _would_ regret this. He had had bad experiences with using his power when his brother was involved. One time, the victim had freaked out and tried to run away. He had made it nearly halfway down the corridor before Castiel had caught up with him and touched him. And then they were faced with a dead body in the middle of the hall. He'd got blood on his trench coat trying to drag it back to the morgue.

At times when he was forced to use his gift on human beings, Castiel couldn't help but wonder about the boy next door when he was little. Dean Winchester, who's father he has inadvertently killed. How much had Castiel ruined his friend's life?

'So what happened to this guy anyway?'

'Stabbed. From behind, no clues. Poor guy. But just think Cassie, you and I could bring his killer to justice! Don't that feel good?'

'And I guess the money doesn't matter to you?'

'Well yes private detective pays well, and it pays a helluva lot better when I solve the case now doesn't it! But that doesn't matter to moi.'

Cas smiled, 'oh yeah, the justice thing is what matters to you though right?'

'Exactamundo' said Gabriel, snapping his finger out in Castiel's direction. 'now how about some pie?'

Castiel put his hands out onto the table and pulled himself up. 'Sure thing Gabe, Grasshopper?'

Gabriel winked 'you know it!'

Castiel sighed and walked over to the counter. There was no one else like Gabriel in the world. Or at least, he's never met anyone quite as annoying. Or as bouncy, honestly he was exhausting to look at.

Cas leaned on the counter and smiled at the waitress behind it. 'Meg, please will you fetch a slice of Grashopper pie for my brother?'

'Sure think Clarence, although I'm sure you could flutter yourself over three feet to the left and get it yourself.'

Cas glared at her and walked into the kitchen. Meg took a lot of pleasure in mocking Castiel for being named after the angel of Thursdays, and yet never seemed to pester Gabriel about his name. Which frankly, was a lot worse than Castiel.

At five o clock, Castiel finished serving customers, and shut up shop. He turned the lights out in the cafe, and went back towards the counter. He made a list of all the types of pie he had sold today (Castiel is a 'lists' sort of person) and decided he would need to bake at least two more apples, a rhubarb and a kiwi and lime pie before tomorrow.

As he baked, Couldn't help thinking about the man who had been stabbed. The man who would be lying , cold in a drawer at the morgue right now. And tomorrow, Castiel would bring him life. Only for 60 seconds, granted. But still, that was something. He couldn't help but feel a connection with the man. What paths had he chosen to have found himself there in that hospital awaiting Castiel's touch? How different their lives must have been, and yet they were being brought together now, in the middle of Castiel's life, and beyond the end of the strangers.


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: So I hope this is making sense to everyone! I think the chapters will probably continue to be short, but there will be a few of them. And I'll try to keep updating regularly. **

**Please review! I want to know what you guys think!**

Chapter 2

The next morning Castiel found himself in the passenger seat of his brother's convertible, speeding towards the hospital. Gabriel was playing a song that Castiel didn't recognise and singing very loudly. His mood seemed too light for the occasion, but that was Gabriel, a perpetual optimist.

Castiel walks through the carpark and to the hospital as if in a dream. He can't help feeling that, by bringing this man life, however briefly he will be changing the course of his own. He doesn't know why, but it scares him.

He has no way of knowing how big an impact this day will have on the rest of his life.

Gabriel gets Castiel past the security guard in the hospital by claiming him to be an intern. Castiel isn't sure if private detectives even have interns, but whatever it works.

The morgue is cold, unsurprisingly. And Castiel gets a shiver that runs all down the full length of his spine when he steps inside. Gabriel prances over to the lockers.

'Fourteen, fourteen. Ah Bingo, this is the guy Cassie!' Gabriel turns over his shoulder to look at Castiel. 'Let's light this candle!'

He slides the drawer open. From across the room Castiel can tell that the man is about his own age, and has short brown, hair. As he approaches the corpse, the features become clearer. Clean cut cheekbones, chin dusted with stubble, defined chest. He looks perfect. As he has been stabbed in the back, there are no wounds visible, and he could be sleeping. Apart from the fact that he possesses the deathly pallor of one who has been dead for days, of course. Castiel guesses that the man would be slightly taller than him, if he were standing. There is something about the man that Castiel can't place. Something familiar.

_Castiel is eight years old. He is playing in the garden of his neighbours. _

_'Come on Cas! I'm not gonna wait'_

_Castiel looks up and smiles, his friend Dean Winchester is standing a few metres away from him. He is clutching a toy car, and grinning. His T shirt is wet._

_Cas jumps up and runs towards him. A jet of water hits the side of his face and he squeals. He ducks and follows Dean out of the path of the sprinklers. 'Cas we gotta hurry or Sammy will find us and he'll spoil the game!'_

_'I like Sammy he's funny!' Cas quips._

_'Yeah but he's too little to play and he smells funny. You're lucky Cas, little brothers suck.'_

_Castiel wrinkles his nose. 'Big brothers aren't so great either Dean, Gabriel made me eat a worm!'_

_Dean laughs. 'You're so weird Cas, I like it'_

_A voice rings out across the yard. 'Castiel! Come inside sweetie your dinner is ready!' _

_Castiels pouts his lips together. 'Fine!' He shouts. 'I gotta go' he says to Dean. 'you wanna come round tomorrow?'_

_'Yeah sure, come here man!' Cas grins and jumps over towards Dean. The two high five and then spin around. Dean pretends to slap Cas across the face and Cas pretends to kick Dean. They fist bump, belly bounce and laugh. Castiel salutes and runs away. It's a stupid little ritual, but the boys both know it means they'll be best friends forever. _

'...Buddy, hey! Little bro! Castiel! Come back kiddo,'

Castiel turns around and he is back in the hospital with Gabriel. The memories of his childhood retreating back into his head.

'Gabriel. What's his name.'

Gabriel frowns. 'Errm I dunno, let me check Dan was it? Or Dave?'

'Dean' Castiel whispers.

'Yeah that's it! Dean Winchester. Did you see my case notes or something?'

Castiel turns to Gabriel, his features are frozen in shock. 'They lived across the road, when we were little, before Mother died.'

Gabriel's brow furrows in frustration, then his eyes widen. 'Oh yeah! He had a kid brother right? Goofy little fellow, tall for his age? Man. I'd forgotten. You sure it's him kiddo?'

'I'm sure' Castiel croaked. There was no mistaking him now. The man in front of him was his best friend. Well, his old best friend. His old, _dead_ best fried. He cursed himself mentally. Why had he not tried to find Dean? In nineteen years, and now he was here, and he was dead. And then he would be alive, and then he'd have to kill him again.

'Gabe, will you let me do this one alone? I mean, we have some history. Me and this guy'

Gabriel smirked 'Ooooooh hiiiistory' he teased, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

'Gabriel we were nine! Come on!'

He smiled, 'Fine, but keep it short. One minute remember? No happy reunions either. Remember one hug, and poof he's gone.'

He sauntered out of the room. Just before he left, he popped his head back around the door.

'Oh, and ask him who killed him would you, that'd be super'

Castiel rolled his eyes. His brother was a dick. He glanced back at the man on the table, he was naked. But his lower half was covered by a sheet. Castiel blushed as he thought about how lucky that was. This was going to be awkward enough as it was.

Castiel decided that it would be best not to tell Dean who he was. Dean would want to talk about Castiel, and they would waste their minute. Carefully he leaned in, and hovered his hand over Deans face. He thought for a moment about where to touch the man. His chest? Too formal. His mouth? Too personal. His cheek, was perfect. Castiel leaned in, and touched. He took a minute to appreciate the cool feeling for Dean's face on his hand, before the man jumped up.

Dean leapt off the table and slammed himself into the wall behind him, clinging desperately to the sheet around his waist.

'What the hell man! Who are you? What the hell is happening, how did I get here?'

Dean scanned the room, and took in the man standing before him. He was slightly shorter than he was, and his hair stood up at odd angles. He didn't ponder him for long though, because it soon became obvious that he was in a morgue. Dean looked down at himself and the reason for his state of undress dawned on him.

'Dude!? Am I.. _Dead?!'_

Castiel grimaced. 'Son of a bitch!' Dean exclaimed. 'How did I die?'

'You don't remember?'

'No, I don't. I was with Sammy, and then.. Jesus, is Sam ok?'

Cas smiled at his old friend. Still protective over his little brother. Nothing changes.

'As far as I know, your brother is fine Dean. Listen, can you remember anything about who killed you?'

Dean had frozen. The way this man had said his name was familiar. The voice had changed, a lot. It was deeper than last time, more gravelly. But the tone was still the same.

'... Cas?'

Castiel froze. Dean remembered him. Not only that, he recognised him! How could that have happened?

'No one's called me that since I was a child.'

'It is you! Oh wow hey buddy how're you doing?'

Cas glanced at his watch, 30 seconds. 'I'm better than you are Dean that's for sure, look we don't have long. Is there anything you want me to tell Sam at all?'

'So I'm not back for good then? That sucks. Sammy knows I love him, errm no that's it. God Cas, it's good to see you. I missed you when you guys moved away..'

And that was it. Dean has missed him. He couldn't lose him again. Cas growled in frustration. He was going to get so screwed for this.

'Ok so what If you don't have to be dead..'

'well yeah, that'd be better dude, what's going o?'

Ten seconds. 'Ok lie down in that drawer, I'll be back.'

Nine, Dean raises an eyebrow at Cas, but does as he's told.

Eight,

Seven,

Six,

Five, Cas slides the door shut and smiles at Dean. Too late to turn back

Four,

Three,

Two, Cas strides over to the door and flings it open.

One. Gabriel is leaning against a wall opposite the door. Cas grimaces as the countdown hits zero, but Gabriel remains unharmed. Thank god. If his rash descision had killed his own brother that would have been too much to handle. At least in a hospital the poor sap he killed might have been dying already..

'Right ok, he didn't know sorry you can go home now'

Gabriel swore. 'Crap, I was sure that'd be this sorted. Fine guess I'll have to do my own job this time.. hey, you ok bud?'

'Yeah, just tired. Actually no, I feel sick Gabe. In fact, I think I might just go upstairs and get checked out while I'm here.'

'Well alright, if you're sure. Hey! Maybe Dean-o had some sort of disease. Creepy!'

Castiel tried to smile at Gabriel, but it came out as more of a grimace.

Gabriel left anyway. And Castiel was left wondering what he was going to do, about his alive again friend, who he could never touch.


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: Aaaah so I'm hoping at least some of you are enjoying this fic as much as I'm loving writing it. Might try and get a few fluffy bits into this chapter! I have a Beta now, the lovely someone-stole-my-shoes. So if there are mistakes, it's her fault.**

**Please leave reviews it helps me know where you guys want this fic to go! **

Chapter 3

Cas waits until Gabriel has turned the corner. And then he waits a while longer. And then a bit longer.

His mind was racing. Looking back, he probably just made a hasty decision that would no doubt have a barrel load of complicated consequences. What was he going to do with Dean? He couldn't exactly go home; all his friends and family thought he was dead. He couldn't go off on his own...Cas assumed he had no money on him, and he couldn't exactly draw money out of the bank without people getting suspicious. And he couldn't bloody well stay in the morgue, he was due to be cremated in two days!

Castiel soon came to the conclusion that the only solution was to have Dean stay with him for... a while? Possibly forever. Where else was there?

Cas groaned. He had just gained a roommate that he hadn't wanted, and who would die if he even brushed against his skin. Fantastic. He sighed, and turned back to the door. He placed his hand on the steel handle, and wrenched it open. Walking across the room Castiel felt nothing but dread. Opening the draw, it seemed heavy. Far too heavy.

And then Dean was looking up at him, and grinning. And it was ok again.

'Man, it's cold in here! Can I come out and play now?'

Cas nodded, stepping back to allow Dean space to manoeuvre himself out of the drawer.

'Look Dean, everyone thinks you're dead. We're going to have to sneak you out of here.'

Dean flashed him a grin. 'Mission: Impossible, I like it!'

'Look this is serious! Ok, put this on and look sick.'

Castiel handed Dean a hospital gown. Dean's hand came dangerously close to touching Castiel's, and Cas yelped and jumped backwards, dropping the gown into Dean's hand.

'Easy there, jumpy, I won't bite.' Dean joked. '...actually, maybe I will. I guess I am a zombie!'

Cas frowned. 'You're not a zombie, Dean. You're just...alive again.' It seemed almost insulting to call Dean a zombie, somehow degrading. The stereotypical 'zombie' - moaning and flesh falling off - could not be further from the man in front of him.

'Whatever fruit loops, shall we get going? This place is creeping me out.'

Cas nods and walks towards the door, Dean following. Cas glances out the door...the security desk is clear, finally some good luck! Together they walk through the hospital. They take the stairs, to avoid running into people in the elevator, and walk slowly so as not to arise suspicion. Dean bends over slightly, and even tries fake limping, until he see's Castiel's mortified expression, and phases it out.

They reach the car park without complications. 'Shit,' Castiel swears. 'My brother drove me here, I don't have a car.'

'Wait he left without you? Man that's rough!'

'Dean, he doesn't know you're alive, you're not meant to-.'

Dean frowns. 'You know what Cas, I don't get it, you keep saying I'm not meant to be alive, but how am I then? What's going on man?'

Cas sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. This is why he doesn't use his gift on people. It's complicated. 'Let's just, get home and then worry about that.'

'Alright,' Dean shrugs. 'Hey, where're we going anyway? You dropping me off at a motel?'

Castiel shakes his head. 'You can't check in to a hotel, Dean. You're dead. We're going back to my place.'

'So soon? Cas I barely know you!'

Castiel blushes and looks at the pavement. He's never been good with teasing, and it doesn't help that Dean's not unattractive...actually. He's exactly Castiel's type...

Dean manages to convince Cas to call a cab, after pointing out that if they walk a block away from the hospital to get picked up, no one would recognise him anyway. 20 minutes later, the car pulls over in front of 'The Pie Hole'.

Dean glances out of the window. 'Dude! You live next to a freaking pie shop? Awesome!'

'Actually, I live above it. I own the place.'

The expression on Dean's face is priceless. Cas could have sworn his eyes sparkled, and his grin spread from ear to ear. He jumps out of the car and stares in through the window as Castiel pays the driver.

'Free pie?' Dean whispers hopefully.

Cas laughed, and pretended to think hard about it. 'Weeeeell, you've had a tough day. I guess I can stretch to free pie.'

'Man you're the best!' Dean leans over to ruffle Cas' hair, and again Castiel freaks out and jumps backwards.

'Ok, we need to talk.'

Ten minutes later, Dean and Castiel are positioned in a booth by the window. Dean has a slice of apple pie – a la mode, and Cas is nursing a glass of water.

'This is the best pie I have ever tasted. Man Sammy will love this place!'

Castiel grimaced. He wasn't sure if Dean realised that being dead, may make it hard to keep in touch with his old friends and family.

'Ok Dean, you've gotta listen to me now. The alive again thing, it's got some rules and regulations.'

'Three wishes, uno dos tres no substitutions, exchanges or refunds?'

'No Dean, listen to me...wait was that Aladdin?'

'Guilty pleasure.'

'Huh. No wait, this is important, ok Dean. You can't touch me.'

Dean choked on his food, and took a long drink of water before replying.

'Cas, you're an attractive guy and everything, but we're just rekindling our friendship, who said I was gonna 'touch' you?'

'No! That's not...I mean.'

'Do I look like a whore to you?!'

Cas deadpanned, his mouth falling open. This wasn't how he imagined this conversation going. 'No! I never meant-.'

'Dude, I'm screwing with you. Come on. Seriously though, what was that?'

Castiel sighed. Dean really hadn't changed much since they were children. He had loved teasing Castiel even when they were nine. And the worst part was, Cas could _never_ tell when he was kidding.

'Dean, I touch people and they come back to life. But only once, I touch you again and you die. Forever.'

'Whoa.' Dean is staring at him now. 'That's messed up man. So I can't even high five you about this amazing pie?'

'Not if you value your life.'

'Huh. Well that sucks. Still, I'm not dead right? That's something!'

'You seem to be taking your death amazingly well, Dean.'

Dean shrugged, and took another mouthful of pie. Castiel was shocked at how well the guy was taking it all. He had to admit, he'd be freaking out if their roles were reversed.

'Come on, we'll go upstairs and I'll fix you up the camp bed, Meg can keep the shop running.'

Dean picked his plate up and took it to the counter, where he passed it to Meg. She raised her eyebrows at Cas when she saw him lead Dean to the stairs that led to his apartment, but thankfully, she didn't comment. Castiel was sure she would grill him about it later.

Upstairs, Cas unlocks the door and ushers Dean inside. Dean stops for a second to take in his surroundings. The door leads into a small living room, with one big squashy sofa and a TV. One door leads into a small kitchen, and another leads into a single bedroom, with an ensuite bathroom. It's not a big apartment, but it's meticulously tidy, and devoid of nearly all personal touches, except for a small framed photo featuring Cas, a brown haired man and a red headed girl.

'Family?' Dean asks.

Castiel nods. 'Gabriel and Anna, my brother and sister.'

'Oh yeah! Man I remember them now, Gabe was always playing tricks on you, I never saw Anna much though. Guess she was nice enough.'

'I'm close to them both. Probably too close to Gabriel; he never leaves. It's just been the three of us since Mother died.'

Dean nods grimly. 'How could I forget man, same day our Dad died. Coincidence, huh?'

Cas mumbles something that could have been 'yeah, freaky' and hurries off into the bedroom. He hadn't told Dean about the drawbacks of his gift. Not only would it mean telling Dean that he was alive at the cost of some poor soul in the hospital's life, but it would mean telling Dean that he had killed his father. Orphaning him and Sam.

Cas rushes to the wardrobe and selects a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He puts them in the bed for Dean.

'Put these on.'

Dean frowns, 'Na, it's ok man. I don't want to cause you any hassle...'

'Dean. You're wearing a hospital gown, which keeps blowing open at the back. Please, put some clothes on.'

'Oh yeah.' Dean blushes and picks up the clothes. Dean can't help but feel Cas has seen a bit too much of him naked today, maybe this is for the best. Dean heads into the bathroom to change, and Castiel heads to the kitchen.

Cas is just fixing them some tea when there is a banging on the door.

'Comee onnnnn, little brother! I'm hungry! Make my dinner?'

Gabriel. Shit. Castiel had forgotten that he comes round every freakin' day to be fed.

'Sounds like someone wants to be in!' Dean laughs. 'Shall I get it?'

'NO!' Castiel shouts. 'Dean, go wait in my room, I'll explain later.' Castiel could feel himself starting to sweat.

As soon as Dean is in the other room, Cas opens the door a fraction to face Gabriel.

'Gabe, I've got company. Come back later'

'Who is it, anyone I know?' Gabriel peers around Cas, trying to see into the apartment.

'No. I just met him.'

'Him? Oh Cassie... did you hook up at a hospital?'

Castiel says nothing, but the rush of blood to his cheeks tells Gabriel everything he needs to know.

'Well way to go kiddo! ...but hey, I just need a sandwich. I've got no food at my place. I'll be gone in five I swear.'

He pushes past Castiel and prances into the kitchen ignoring Cas' protests. He pulls open the fridge and selects ham, and cheese.

Castiel leans against the door willing him to be fast. He knew he couldn't hide dean forever...but he wasn't in the mood for the 'you could have killed me you dick!' lecture right now.

Unfortunately luck was not on his side. Dean appeared behind him in the doorway.

'Cas, can I take a shower? I'm feeling pretty gross right now...'

Castiel frantically tries to shut dean up, but it's too late. Gabriel has heard.

'Hey man, my name's Gabriel, I'm Cassie's big brother...'

Dean smiles and nods his head at Gabriel. 'Good to see you man, I'm-.'

'Dean Winchester.' Gabriel growls.

'Err yeah, remember me? I lived across the road.'

'Yeah yeah, I got it,' Gabriel says, glaring at Castiel. 'Excuse us Dean, I need a little word with my bro.'

'Oh well, I'll just head off and have that shower. Good seeing you Gabriel.'

Dean leaves. Cas gulps. _Here we go_.

Gabriel strides towards Castiel, practically pinning him up against the wall.

'Mind telling me what freakin Living Dead over there is doing in your house? And why he is, errr, ALIVE?!'

'Don't call him that Gabriel, he's not dead he's alive. Can't we just call him alive again? Doesn't that sound nice?'

'I don't freaking care what the hell you call him! The point is, that he is here. In your house. And not dead.' Care to explain?'

'I couldn't do it Gabe, I couldn't. He remembered me. I didn't even tell him who I was, and he remembered me. Nineteen years later Gabe! He's my best friend. I couldn't kill him.'

Gabriel wasn't convinced. He gripped the front of Castiel's shirt. 'And what the hell would you have done if it was me that died after a minute huh? You're own brother Cas!'

He grimaced. Castiel had known that was coming, and honestly...he did feel bad about it.

'I...I wasn't thinking straight.'

Gabriel laughed, 'Damn right you weren't. What the hell is going to happen when they notice his body has gone? He's due to be cremated for God's sake?'

Castiel's eyes grow wide. He hadn't thought of that. He shrugs, trying and failing to be nonchalant.

'Well I hope Eye Candy is worth it Cas, I really do. Because you're on your own here!'

And with that, he released his hold on Castiel, and stormed out. Leaving Cas alone, listening to the water flow in the bathroom, and wondering once more, what on earth he was meant to do.


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you for reading guys, warning for angst in this chapter! Haha. **

**Please please review it really does make my day! (: **

Chapter 4

Castiel slid his back down the wall, and sat on the floor of his apartment. He put his head in his hands and took several deep breaths, trying hard not to freak out.

Ok, so Gabriel didn't take the news well, but he was never expecting him to, really. Cas didn't know why he had thought that he'd get away with never telling Gabriel that he had brought Dean back to life, but he hadn't really thought about anything. He hadn't even really considered the possibility that Gabriel could have died when Dean's minute was up. And then what would he have done with Dean? He would have been a constant reminder of Gabriel's death.

Castiel shook his head, as if to shake the thought away. It didn't matter, it never happened. All Cas could do was hope that the person who died for Dean was already old, or dying.

It was around 15 minutes later that Dean emerged from the shower. He was dressed in Castiel's clothes, that were slightly too small for him. He had a towel round his neck, and he was drying his hair as he walked, sending droplets of water flying across the room.

'Hey, sorry I took a while man, there's something about dying that makes you feel dirty, you know?'

Cas stared at Dean, and shook his head. No, he did not know what dying was like.

'Oh yeah I guess you've never died. Well it sucks. Also, check this out!'

Dean turned his back to Cas and raised his shirt revealing an impressive stab wound. Castiel pushed himself up from the floor and walked over to get a closer look at the wound. It wasn't bleeding or anything, but it looked red. Cas guessed that was a good sign.

'Will it heal?' Dean asked. 'I mean, I've still got a pulse and everything, so I guess everything goes on as normal'

Castiel gulped. 'Yes, everything should be the same as it was before... Normally I would suggest getting that stitched up but we can't take you to the hospital, so we'll just have to bandage it and hope for the best. I imagine you'll have a scar.'

'Yeah I would have thought so!' Dean chuckled. 'Can we eat? I'm starved.'

Castiel smiled and walked into the kitchen. He froze as he saw Gabriel's half made sandwich on the counter. Dean frowned at it.

'Gabe left without his food?' he asked. Gabriel didn't seem like the kind of guy who would leave anywhere without food. A man after Dean's own heart!

'Err yeah.' Cas said. 'He remembered...something that he had to do.'

Dean shrugged and turned to complete the sandwich. Waste not want not. If he was suspicious, he didn't show it.

'So I have a question. Back at the morgue, you said that we didn't have much time. And here I am, what's up with that?'

Castiel shut his eyes and breathed out slowly. He really didn't want to lie to Dean, but he didn't want to tell him the full truth either.

'It's... only meant to be a minute.' He whispers.

Dean stares at him. 'Ok, but why?'

Castiel turned his back to Dean and leaned over the sink. 'No reason, I just can't be bringing everyone back forever. So I set myself a time limit.'

He turns around and grins at Dean. The grin is forced, and he knows it.

'That's it?' Dean asks. He is suspicious and they both know it.

'That's it.' Cas nods and tries to meet Dean's eyes.

'Castiel. Your eye just twitched.'

Cas' eyes widen. 'No it didn't. Why would it?'

'It did it again'

Cas looked sheepish. Dean didn't know if Cas was lying to him, or if he just wasn't telling him everything, but he didn't like it. He decided to try a gentle approach.

'Cas, buddy. I know you're not telling me something... but you can trust me right? We've been friends a long time!'

He received an exasperated glance from Cas in return. 'We've not seen each other in nineteen years Dean...'

'Point still stands buddy, we go way back. Now spill.'

Dean watched Castiel's face as he fought with himself over telling him. It would have been quite funny at any other time. He looked cute when he was conflicted...Cas had brought his hand up to the back of his neck. He started running it, getting increasingly harder. Eventually he brought both hands to his head and ran his hands violently back and forth through his hair while making a noise like 'Nuuuaaaaaaarrrghhhh'. Dean thought that it sounded like a wookie in distress, but whatever.

'Dean the reason that it's a minute is that sombuddyeelsswildie'

Dean blinked. 'Excuse me? You're going to have to speak a little slower there.'

'If I keep someone alive for more than a minute, then somebody else has to die.' Says Cas with a sigh.

He watches Dean's expression change as he processes the news. It turns to horror pretty fast though.

'So, some poor sucker somewhere in the world is dead because I'm alive?'

Cas tilts his head to the side apologetically, 'actually it was most likely someone in the hospital, it's kind of a proximity thing.'

'Wait, didn't Gabriel take you to the hospital?'

Cas had hoped this wouldn't come up again, but luck didn't really seem to be on his side today.

'Yes he was there, it could have been him. Yes I was stupid, can we not focus on that? You're alive Dean!'

Dean took a step towards Castiel. 'That's the point Cas! I am alive, and I shouldn't be! Have you seen the freakin' hole in my back? It was my turn to check out Cas, and I've taken someone else's time!'

There was a pause. Castiel didn't know what he could say, everything Dean was saying was true. Honestly he felt awful about it, but there wasn't much he could do.

'Who was it?' Dean said suddenly.

'What?'

'Who _died _for me Castiel?'

Cas shook his head. He didn't know. How could he know? He came straight home with Dean.

'Ring the hospital and find out Cas. _Ring them!_'

Dean's voice was getting gradually louder. He wasn't exactly shouting. But Cas could feel the tension in the air.

'I- Dean are you sure you want to know?'

Suddenly he was pinned up against the wall again. That seemed to be happening a lot today. Dean was being careful not to touch any of Cas's skin, but his hand was bunched up in his shirt, and his face was getting dangerously close to Castiel's.

'Look, you son of a bitch. You just _killed_ someone for me. Now believe me, if I could undo it, I would. But correct me if I'm wrong, you touching me now and killing me would not bring them back.'

Cas nodded. 'That's right.'

'So the least you're going to do for me, is ring the hospital, find out if anyone died today who shouldn't have... and we're going to buy some fucking flowers, and we're going to go to the funeral. _Okay?'_

He was still uncomfortably close to Cas's face, and he could feel the taller man's breath on his skin. Castiel nods quickly and dean steps off.

'Good. God Cas that was stupid, you know?'

'Yeah...I've been told.' Cas mumbled

'So Gabriel knows then?'

'Gabriel knows everything.' He admits. 'He knows you died, and he knows you're alive again, and he knows that technically you're not meant to be.'

Dean scoffs. 'Yeah you got that right.'

'Dean,' Castiel sighs, 'I know it was rash, but I don't regret my choice. You're alive, and you're my friend. I couldn't leave you.'

Dean's head whips around to face Castiel. He's ready to shout again, he really is. But the expression on Cas' face changes his mind. He looks hurt, kind of like a kicked puppy. Dean is still sore, but decides to try and forgive Castiel, he hadn't meant to hurt anyone after all. Dean likes to think he would have acted differently if their roles were reversed, but he's not convinced he would have.

'Ok Cas, it's ok.' He sighs. 'Just remember...'

Castiel looks up to Dean, and blue eyes meet green.

'I never wanted to be saved.'


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: I loved writing this chapter, so I hope you guy's like it. Massive thanks to my beta, - someonestolemyshoes49 – She's written some great stuff, so if you're into the Mentalist, or The Vampire Diaries go check her out! **

Chapter 5

The next morning, Castiel wakes up in his bed, as usual. As though nothing has happened. The situation is so normal that it takes him a second to remember the events of the previous day.

After their fight Dean and Cas had spoken very little. Castiel had left Dean watching television, and gone into his room to read his book. He was reading one of his favourites, 'The Catcher in the Rye', but he couldn't get into it. The misdemeanours of Holden Caulfield seemed a lot less interesting than his own life right now, and that was saying something. In the end, he had just lay on his bed and thought, until he fell asleep.

Rolling over, he glanced at his alarm clock and groaned. It was 6.30. It was a Wednesday, meaning he had to be at the shop at 8.00, but that was still an hour and a half away...

He lay in bed for as long as he could stand; he really didn't want to face Dean. He really did feel horrible about everything, and while he couldn't bring himself to regret bringing Dean back, he knew that Dean would need time to think.

Eventually, it was his bladder that decided he needed to get up. By the time he was dressed and ready it was just after seven. Quietly he opened the door to the living room, and looked around. Dean was fast asleep on the sofa. He was still fully clothed and Cas suspected he had fallen asleep in much the same way as he had. Castiel tiptoed past him into the kitchen. There really was no point in him going down early, so he decided to make breakfast. At 8.00 he went downstairs.

At 8.15 Dean woke up with a start. He'd been having a bad dream, something about a man, behind him? And a lot of pain? The memories of the dream were fading fast, and he shook his head and forgot about it. He smelled coffee, and sighed. Bracing himself he stood up, and walked into the kitchen. He expects Castiel to be there, and prepares to apologise. He has had time to think about it overnight, and Dean feels bad about being so harsh on the guy.

Sure if it was up to him he'd be dead, and the other guy would be alive. But Castiel had only tried to help. It wasn't like he had planned it either, he just hadn't been able to kill his friend when the time came.

However, Dean entered the kitchen to find it empty. Well, not empty. There was no Castiel, but there was a big stack of pancakes on the table, and a jug of coffee. Dean smiled, and approached the table. There was a note.

'_I'm sorry_

_-Castiel_

_P.S - I'm not sorry. I don't regret having you back, Dean._

_P.P.S – Come down for pie at lunchtime?_

_P.P.P.S – Please make yourself at home.'_

Dean chuckled. He could see Cas's thought process on the paper. It was obvious he had meant to leave a short simple note, and had kept on thinking of things to say. Dean thought it was adorable.

He spent his morning reading Castiel's books. Dean spent a while studying the bookshelf, Cas sure had a lot of books! In the end he selects 'Frankenstein', as he remembers enjoying it when he read it at school. Dean loves to read, but doesn't normally have much time for it. Being a mechanic and spending time with Sammy took up most of his free time. One of the benefits of being dead seemed to be an abundant amount of free time.

An hour or so later, Dean had been ensnared by the book. He had a different perspective this time round. He felt more empathy for the monster; it wasn't his fault he existed, he hadn't asked to be brought to life by the vile Victor Frankenstein, the monster didn't choose to be ali- oh whoa. Ok, this book was hitting _far _too close to home for his liking. Dean mentally scolded himself. Real stupid choice, Dean.

He decides to take Cas up on his offer of pie, and at 11.30 Dean goes into his friend's room and grabs a hoodie, before heading down to the shop.

As he enters the shop, he see's Castiel across the other side of the room. He's serving some customers, and Dean can just make out some snippets of conversation. Cas is telling them about one of his pies, it makes Dean smile, to see how passionate his friend is about his creations. Castiel glances over his shoulder and notices Dean standing there. He smiles, and Dean nods at him before taking a table near the counter.

Dean has just finished reading the specials board, when he hears a female voice behind him.

'What'll it be lover boy?'

He turns around to see the dark haired waitress he had spotted the day before. She wore a badge that said 'Hello my name is _Meg_' and a smug expression.

'Excuse me?' Dean asks. He doesn't really get the nickname.

'Well you're the new boy toy of my good friend Castiel are you not?' She said with a smile.

Dean gaped at her. He tried to speak, but words didn't come out.

'Look.' She smirks 'all I know is that you spent the night in his one bed apartment, you're _wearing his clothes_, and when he saw you just then he got his sickening little 'smitten kitten' face out.'

'No - that's not, we're not! We're friends. He's just helping me out ok?'

Meg grinned at him. 'Oh yeah, I bet he is.' She winked.

Dean sighed, he obviously wasn't getting his point across.

'Just, a slice of pecan pie please.'

'Sure thing, Juliet.' She turned and started to sashay away, before Dean stopped her.

'Wait! Why does he get to be Romeo?'

This made Meg laugh. 'Oh believe me, I've seen Cas with guys... and he's the Romeo in this thing.'

'You mean he...'

'Uh huh' She smirked. 'you're in for a wild one.'

'Huh. Didn't think the guy had it in him...' Meg had already started to walk off to get his order, so he shouted after her. 'We're not together!'

She didn't respond, but he was pretty sure she rolled her eyes.

Ten minutes later, Dean had finished his pie. He regretted eating it so fast, but he couldn't help it when Cas' cooking was so freaking good! He was still staring at the plate when Cas came over and stood behind him.

'Good?' Castiel asked. He sounded nervous, and Dean felt bad.

'Man, you are the best cook ever. I sure landed on my feet here.'

Castiel smiled sheepishly. 'So you don't still hate me for bringing you back?'

Dean sighed, 'No Cas, I don't. It was stupid...but I can't blame you for it.'

He watched as Castiel visibly relaxed, and slid into the seat opposite him.

'I mean, don't get me wrong man... I wish it was different, I don't deserve to be alive over some other guy.'

Cas grimaced, but let it go. He got the feeling that Dean didn't think much of himself, and that made him sad. They sat in silence for a minute, and watched customers file in and out of the shop. Castiel made a lot of money serving take out pie, and Meg was currently talking to a couple about the benefits of all the different varieties. Meg looked bored, but thankfully the customers didn't seem to notice. Eventually Castiel broke the silence.

'Dean, there is something else I have to say.'

The expression on his face said it all. Dean sighed, 'I'm not going to like this am I?'

Cas shook his head slowly. 'Ok, just let me talk and you can shout at me at the end, I mean it Dean!'

Dean had started to protest, but Cas raised his finger to silence him, and for once Dean complied.

'So you're aware our parents died on the same day.' He paused for Dean to nod, but continued quickly before he could say anything. 'Well that wasn't a coincidence I'm afraid. My Mother died, and I touched her. She came back, and well... she was back for more than a minute Dean.'

Castiel watched as comprehension grew on Dean's face. He gulped.

'I didn't understand though, and I let my mother kiss me later. She died Dean. Your father died for her, and for nothing. I killed her anyway. I- I killed them both.'

His voice broke, and he buried his face in his hands, waiting for the inevitable explosion. He wished he had chosen somewhere more private for this conversation, but he just couldn't hold it in any longer. There was silence for a minute, and Castiel's head was overloaded with images from years ago. Images he's tried to block out.

'Cas, you were nine.' Dean starts.

'What... what does that have to do with anything?'

'It means, you had no idea what you were doing! You'd not used your thing before right?'

'Only on a squirrel, but I didn't realise till after.'

'Well you couldn't have known Cas! You were just happy to have your Mom back.'

Castiel gaped at Dean. 'It was still me! I orphaned us both, and Sam, and Gabriel, and Anna...'

Dean's hand flew out, as if to grip Castiel's hand. He remembered at the last minute, and sort of settled for an awkward gesture instead. 'Cas, look at me.'

He continued to stare at the table.

'Look at me, Castiel.'

Cas dragged his gaze up, and met Dean's eyes.

'This one isn't on you buddy. You gotta let this one go.'

A sob escaped from Castiel. He hadn't seen it coming, and he was surprised by it. It wasn't particularly loud, but it was a wretched sound. It sounded like nineteen years of suppressed guilt.

Dean picked up a napkin, and wound it round his hand. Before placing his hand on Castiel's shoulder. Sure Castiel had a shirt on, but he really_really_ didn't want to risk dying on the guy right now.

'It's ok buddy. I'm here.'

They sat there like that for a few minutes. Castiel didn't cry, but Dean knew he needed a few minutes to process.

Eventually Cas said 'I should do some baking now.' This made Dean laugh.

'Dude seriously, now? Take a break!'

'I took a break all yesterday Dean, someone needs to make the pies.'

'Yeah, wouldn't want to run out I guess...I'll come to the kitchen with you.'

They walked behind the counter and into the kitchen together. Dean pulled a stool up to the table, and watched as Castiel retrieved ingredients, sprinkled flour on the work surface, and started to roll out some pastry.

'What kind?'

'Apple.'

They sat in silence for a while. Not an awkward silence, a thoughtful one. It was comfortable. At one point Dean started humming 'Heat of the moment'. Castiel thought it was an Asia song, but he didn't want to say in case he was wrong. So he just kept rolling.

Eventually Dean said, 'So I was thinking I might go see Sam tomorrow? He lives nearby after all, I can get the bus.'

Castiel sighed (he seemed to be sighing a lot recently, he guessed it was just the last couple of days) 'I don't think you can Dean.'

'Well, sure he thinks I'm dead. But it'll be obvious I'm not. Trust me, Sammy knows things. We're an... err open minded family! He might know what to do!'

Cas put the rolling pin down. 'I don't think he's going to know what to do Dean! He'll think I'm a freak, he'll tell people! How would we explain this? How could we get away with not telling the rest of your friends? How would he be able to help Dean?'

'Okay okay!' He's surprised by Cas' tone. He was obviously getting really worked up about it.

'I only meant that Sam would understand!'

'How could he Dean? I doubt he's seen anything like it before!'

Cas laughed, but Dean stayed silent.

'He's not seen anything like this before, has he Dean?' Castiel asked.

'No, NO! Of course not that would be ridiculous Cas.' He laughed, but it sounded forced.

Dean seemed to snap back to reality. Castiel didn't know what Dean had been thinking, but he could have sworn Dean had been about to tell him something. Dean made his excuses and hurried off upstairs, leaving Castiel confused.

He had a feeling that he wasn't the only one who had been keeping secrets.

Upstairs Dean was pacing the apartment, which was hard... because it wasn't really that big. He had to see Sammy, he had too! But he didn't want to worry Castiel anymore. The guy had it bad enough keeping something as big as his gift quiet. _But he wouldn't worry if he didn't find out..._

Dean frowned and covered his mouth with a hand. He didn't know what to do, but he knew two things for sure.

Bert and Ernie were gay.

He was seeing his brother no matter what.

Sam would know what to do.

**AN: So who's excited about Misha being a regular again! Hells yeah, I know I am. **


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: Hopefully a bit more will be revealed this chapter! Please review; at the moment I'm deciding between a happy ending for this and a sad ending, so you never know... your reviews may influence me! **

Chapter 6

The next morning Castiel woke to find Dean already up, and in the kitchen. He'd made coffee, but there was no food ready. Cas smiled and went to the bread bin, before popping three slices in the toaster, one for himself and two for Dean.

'So will you be working all day today?' Dean asked. He hoped his tone was casual.

'I'm afraid so.' Castiel sighed. 'It'll be busy today, Thursdays always are.'

It was a strange day for most shops to be busy, but after Meg had discovered the origin of his name, she started calling the treacle tart 'angel pie' on a Thursday, and telling everyone that Castiel was the angel of Thursdays. Eventually a young boy had asked if Cas would grant his wish of free pie, as he was the Thursday angel. Long story short, Castiel had ended up offering discounted treacle tart on a Thursday, which quickly escalated to 'Thursday specials' and when news spread, Thursday soon became the shop's busiest day.

'Good!' said Dean. He received a questioning glance from Castiel 'Errr, I mean it's not good you'll be out all day... but you'll make so much money!'

'I guess I will, it's so tiring though.'

Dean smiled at him, 'Tell you what then... you'll get home about five, or six?'

'Most likely six' Castiel sighed.

'Well then, at six, you can come up, and I'll have put the kettle on, and we can watch a film.'

'That sounds great Dean.' And it did. Castiel knew the day would go really slowly now, with the prospect of a nice relaxing evening in.

'Alright then! So I'll be here...all day! Don't worry about me, I'll be here!'

Castiel chuckled. Dean was strange sometimes... he grabbed an apron from the back of the kitchen door, before throwing it over his shoulder, grabbing his coffee and toast, and heading down to the shop.

Dean did stay in the apartment. For an hour or so at least, he wanted to make sure Castiel hadn't taken forgotten anything. Once he was convinced Castiel wasn't coming back he went into Cas' room, and picked up a jacket. Man, it'd be good to have his own clothes again. He started towards the door, and his hand was on the handle before he realised that the only way out, was through the shop, and he couldn't let Cas see him leaving. Dean crossed to the other side of the apartment, and opened the window. Fire escape. Jackpot.

It only took Dean a minute to climb down to the street, as the apartment was directly above the shop, and so wasn't very high. He pulled the hood of his jacket up, and over his face and walked away from 'The Pie Hole' and around the corner to the bus stop. He decided the best thing to do was stop off home first, before going to Sam's, and then he could spend the rest of the day with his brother before going back to Cas.

It was a 40 minute bus journey to the mechanic's shop where Dean had been working and living before he died. It was a nice place, but it was never home. Dean hadn't had a home since he was a child back in Lawrence. He'd only really taken the position at this shop to be near Sammy when he had moved to New York. Dean was in and out in 20 minutes. He packed a bag with some clothes, a photo of his parents and his wallet. He wasn't sure why no one had cleaned his stuff out yet, sentimentality? Respect for the dead? Whatever. He was just glad they hadn't.

20 minutes later Dean jumped off the bus a block away from the apartment building his brother lived in. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. He had no idea how Sam would react to him being alive, but he was excited.

He approached the door to flat 216, and knocked firmly. The door swung open a few seconds later, and Dean was faced with his little brother. He looked tired, and his hair looked a lot limper than usual. Dean supposed these last day's had been even harder on Sammy then they had on him.

Sam stared at Dean open mouthed for a second. Before shutting the door in his face. Dean frowned. And knocked again. 'Sammy, it's me! Open up!'

'Leave me alone!' Came the voice from inside. 'You're not...go away, go away, go away.'

Dean scowled, he was confused. He started pounding on the door and shouting for Sam to let him in. This went on for a minute or two, before one of Sam's neighbours came past. Dean ducked to hide his face, but it was ok. It wasn't anyone he had met before.

'You ok dear?' she asked. She was probably in her forties, and had dark hair.

'Yeah, my little brother won't let me in.'

'Let me try... Look son, whatever your brother has done it can't be that bad. He's family boy!'

The door flew open. 'Wait...' Sam was addressing the woman now. 'You can see him?'

She laughed. 'Yeah, and I can hear him too! Let him in or he'll have the whole building out to see what's going on!'

She patted him on the arm and walked away chuckling. But Sam didn't notice. He was just staring at his brother. Dean could see his eyes were glistening. 'Dean?'

Dean's voice broke as he spoke. 'It's me Sammy.'

Suddenly, Sam's arms were around Dean, and he was being crushed. But he didn't mind.

'I- I thought you were...I'm sorry Dean, I- I've been seeing you everywhere.'

The penny dropped, and Dean hugged his brother back even harder. 'You thought I was a hallucination?'

Sam laughed. 'A loud one sure, but yeah I did.'

They pulled apart, but Sam kept his hands on Dean's shoulders.

'I can't believe you let me think you were dead! For days, you jerk!'

Dean smirked. 'Bitch.'

They stared at each other for a second, neither one wanting to give in and look away, and then they both snorted and looked at the floor. Sam gripped Dean's shoulder, and pulled him into the apartment.

'I guess I've got some explaining to do then.'

A few minutes later they were sat opposite each other in Sam's living room. They were silent for awhile, both just enjoying the other's company.

'Oh god.' Sam said. 'The journal, I've forgotten... I need to check you're you!'

He jumped up and ran to the kitchen, he came back carrying a small bottle of water and a small knife. He handed them to Dean.

'Go on.' He said, gesturing with a nod of his head.

'Seriously?'

'Dean, we know what's out there, we can't be too careful!'

'I'm a mechanic dude! Why would anything like that pretend to be me.'

He stopped, when he noticed Sam doing his favourite bitch face, and sighed. He unscrewed the cap of the bottle, and poured water on his skin. Next, he took the knife and made a small cut above his wrist. 'Happy?' he asked.

Now is probably a good time to tell you about the Winchesters. In a different life to this one, Sam and Dean may have become hunters, like their mother once was, and like their father had been. When Mary Winchester had died, John Winchester was intending to move out of Kansas completely, and he would have, if it had not been for Christine Novak, Castiel's mother. She was able to convince John that the best thing for the boys was to be around children they knew, so they stayed, and Dean became friends with Cas. John became a hunter, intent on tracking down the demon that killed Mary. But because Castiel's mother lived opposite him, he allowed Dean and Sam to stay home while he was away. This made the boy's aware of the monsters in the dark, but they did no actual fighting. John intended to train the boys to be hunters when Dean was 10, or 11. But thanks to Castiel Novak, he didn't live long enough. Castiel has shaped the boy's lives more than they will ever know.

Sam nodded at Dean, he was now convinced he wasn't a demon, or a shifter. That was something. Dean always thought Sam was being paranoid, but Sam had read the whole of their fathers' journal. He had been the one to contact other hunters, and although he had never faced a monster himself, he had become obsessed with lore.

'So, how come you're not dead man?' Sam asked.

Dean looked at his brother, he trusted Sam with his life... he could trust him with Castiel's secret.

'I'm not sure really. I have a friend, I'm staying with him actually... and he brought me back.'

Sam stared at Dean, eyes wide. 'You mean... necromancy?!'

'No! Not like that, not really. Let me explain?' Sam nodded for him to go on.

'Ok, so do you remember Castiel, little awkward boy, black hair, blue eyes, lived across the street from us in Kansas?'

'Of course I do Dean, the Novak's are in Dad's journal... have you ever like, read the thing?'

Dean shrugged. 'So anyway, all I know is... I died, and then I opened my eyes, and this guy was leaning over me. It was creepy man! So I freaked out, I didn't know where the hell I was! But then I recognised him, it was the weirdest thing! It was Cas.'

Sam sat back in his chair; it was a lot to take in.

'So it turns out, he touched me, and I came back to life. But the thing is it was only meant to be for a minute, he was trying to find out how I died, so I told him I didn't know... and then he told me to get back in the drawer.'

Dean was silent for a moment. 'Thing is Sammy, there's a reason it was meant to be a minute... someone else died in my place. But now I'm here, and I can't touch Cas, or I'll die again.'

'Wow.'

'I know man, you ever hear of anything that can do that?'

'Not really... I mean, other people can see Cas right?'

Dean nodded. 'Then he's not a reaper, that's the only thing I know that could control life and death like that.' Sam paused. 'Do you trust him Dean?'

'Well, yeah. Sammy it's Cas. He's my friend.'

Sam sighed. 'You trust people far too easily Dean. You hardly know him!'

'I know Sam, but whatever this thing is, it's not Castiel's fault. He's not in control of it.'

Dean didn't tell Sam about Cas killing their respective parents, he wasn't sure if Sam would trust Castiel if he knew, especially as he hadn't met him. But he would eventually. Looking at his brother made him feel better though, and he was glad he came to visit.

Little did he know, across the other side of town. Castiel had returned to his apartment to get lunch during a quiet spell. When he found Dean gone, it wasn't hard for him to put two and two together. Dean had been acting strangely, and then there was the conversation they'd had yesterday in the kitchen.

Dean had gone to see Sam, and he had to get him back. Before he got himself killed again.


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who has favourite/followed this story! It really makes me so happy... I never thought anyone would read it! **

**Also while I would love to credit the idea of Cas being the Thursday angel as my own, I can't! Castiel is an Angel Of Thursday in the occult lore. The show may have named Cas as a joke because at the time.. spn aired on Thursdays, but I don't know. Also, Crowley refers to Cas as "The Angel of Thursday" in 6.20 The Man Who Would Be King.**

**So yeah, not my idea :) I just used it!**

Chapter 7

Castiel fumbled in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts looking for the name he wanted. If only Dean had a phone! Actually, he probably wouldn't answer him anyway. Eventually he found Gabriel's number, and dialled it.

The phone rang three times before Gabriel picked it up.

'Look little brother, I'm still pissed. I know you miss me but you'll have to give it a while before you come crawling back.'

'Gabriel, I need your help.'

'Oh so now you want big bro's advice? Glad I didn't die now are we?' Gabriel did sound a little annoyed, but honestly he mainly sounded like he was having fun toying with Castiel.

'Please Gabe.' Cas' voice was ragged, and he knew he sounded desperate, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

'Dean's gone. I think he's gone to find his brother.'

The line was silent for a second, before Gabriel responded.

'So what you're saying is, the guy who is supposed to be dead, and the only person other than me that knows about your freak superpower, is wandering around NYC?'

'Yes.'

'And he could tell anyone about you? Meaning everyone would know that I've been using you to solve cases?'

'Yes.'

'Shit.'

'Yeah.' Castiel sighed, 'look can you just go on your database and see if you can find out where Sam Winchester lives? That's where he'll be.'

'Sure, stay on the line.'

There was a click at Gabriel's end as he put the phone down on his desk, and went to search his computer. Time was dragging on for Castiel; he trusted Dean, but he knew Dean trusted his brother, and would probably tell him. The issue was, Castiel didn't know or trust Sam. For all he knew his secret could already be out.

A minute later Gabriel was on the line. 'Okay got it. Pick you up in ten'

Castiel groaned, 'You're coming? You don't have to come honestly!'

'Course I do kiddo! You might need someone to manhandle Dean, and you can't do that!'

Castiel almost laughed. 'As if you'd be much good Gabriel, he's about twice your size.'

He could almost hear Gabriel's look of indignation! 'Is not! Moral support then, you need me little brother. Be there in ten minutes.'

He hung up, and Cas ran into his room to grab a jacket. He reached round the back of the door to get his favourite... and it was gone. At least he knew what Dean would be wearing.

He walked down the stairs, and was almost out the door before someone stopped him.

'Where the hell are you going?' It was Meg, she look unusually flustered.

'I have to go out for a few hours Meg, I'm sorry. You'll be fine.'

'It's a Thursday afternoon Castiel! You can't leave me on my own!'

'I'm sorry Meg, I have to go.'

He turned and ran out of the door before she could say anything else. He was sure Meg would think of a way to get back at him, and he knew he wouldn't enjoy it. He didn't have to wait long before Gabriel pulled up beside him, he jumped in and they drove off.

'Shouldn't you be working?' Cas asked after a while.

Gabriel pulled a face. 'Technically yes, but I wasn't getting anything done. Your boyfriend's killer is proving hard to catch kiddo.'

'Not my boyfriend.' Cas said quietly. With everything that had been happening, he had forgotten that Dean had been murdered. He was so conflicted, both horrified that someone had hurt Dean, and glad that he had him in his life again. However, this new revelation seemed to put a higher strain on the situation. Dean was dead for a reason, and his killer was still out there. He couldn't find out that Dean wasn't dead. Dean was in more danger than Castiel had imagined. They both were.

'What was he thinking?' Cas wondered aloud.

'Well he missed his brother Castiel, wouldn't you have done the same if it was me you were separated from?'

Castiel gave Gabriel a reproachful look. Gabriel met his eyes and winced.

'Ouch. That's cold little brother.'

'Maybe if you didn't eat all my food.' Castiel joked.

Gabriel snorted. 'Whatever.' He pulled over outside an apartment building. He handed Castiel a slip of paper with _'216_' written on it. 'Let's go find Corpse Bride.'

Inside the apartment Dean and Sam were sitting in the same place as before, but now both had a beer. They were laughing at a joke Sam had told, and it felt just like it had before Dean's death.

Dean checked his watch, it was still a while before he had to leave, but he wanted to be back an hour or so before Castiel was due home, just to be sure.

There was a knock on the door, and Sam excused himself to answer it. Dean went to go hide in the bathroom, but Sam signalled for him to stay sitting. His neighbours were always knocking on the door to ask him everything from 'have you seen my cat?' to 'Can you take a look at my dishwasher?' to 'Will you sign this petition to get us a roof garden?' but none of them ever came inside.

However when he opened the door he didn't recognise the men standing there.

'Yes?' he asked.

'Sam Winchester?' the taller man asked. He had a deep voice, which surprised Sam. There was a thud in the apartment behind him, and he was sure he heard a muffled swear. The men glanced at each other and raised their eyebrows.

'My name is Castiel.'

'Oh, Oh! You've been looking after Dean! Come in.'

Cas seemed surprised at his reaction, but he thanked Sam anyway, and walked past him into the apartment.

When Sam got into the living room he was surprised to see Dean was gone, he glanced to the bathroom, but the door was open and Dean wasn't there. Then Castiel spoke.

'Dean, I know you're behind the sofa.'

Nothing happened for a second, and then Dean emerged from his position behind the sofa.

'Hey Cas' He said sheepishly, 'Gabriel.' He nodded in their direction.

'Gabriel? Like the angel?' Sam asked with a smirk.

Gabriel frowned at him and stuck his tongue out, making Sam chuckle.

Dean and Castiel shared a collective eye roll at their brother's behaviour, before Cas remembered he was cross at Dean.

'Dean, how could you leave like that? I was so worried!'

Dean scowled at him. 'I'm a grown man dude, I can do what I like!'

'I know, of course you can... it's just, Dean, people can't know what I do! It's dangerous. And you could have been hurt!'

Dean laughed. 'Well, so is living with a guy who could kill me at any moment, but that's not stopped you.'

'Wait.' Sam interrupts. 'Dean, you didn't tell Castiel you were coming here?'

'No I didn't Sam, Cas didn't think it was safe for you to know I was alive. But he doesn't know about us, you know...knowing stuff!'

Castiel was confused. He was just about to ask, when Gabriel decided to contribute to the conversation.

'What do you guys know?' he asked curiously

'Never mind.' Said Sam and Dean simultaneously.

Castiel sighed. 'What's going on?'

'Look, I'm sorry I scared you man. But I can trust Sammy, your secret is safe! I was safe coming here!'

'No Dean you're not! Did you even think about what would happen if people recognised you? The guy who killed you is still out there!'

'He has a point Dean...' Sam says. 'You should have told him.'

Dean stretched his hands out and puts them behind his head.

'I know, I know. I just couldn't. So my killer huh, police still on that one?'

Castiel glanced at Gabriel accusingly.

'What! I'm on it!' Gabriel said defensively. 'These things take time!'

Sam smiled at him again, 'you're a cop?'

'Detective.' Gabriel winked.

Dean rolled his eyes again. 'Stop flirting! My life is on the line!' He was joking, but Sam blushed anyway.

'Ok, everyone sit down. Now.' Castiel sounded serious, and although it was Sam's apartment, everyone obeyed. Gabriel and Sam sat down on the sofa, and Dean and Cas took an armchair each. 'Ok, this is the plan.' Says Castiel. 'We're going to go round in a circle, and we're going to say _everything_ that we've been thinking, or hiding. Ok?'

Everyone started talking at once, and Castiel sighed. 'Okay!' He shouted. 'No one talks, unless they are holding...' He glanced around, 'This pencil!'

The others shut their mouths immediately, no one wanting to break the pencil rule. Castiel rolled his eyes. Honestly, they were all children.

'I'll go first. I've been able to raise the dead since I was a boy, the first person I brought back was my mother, and your father died as a consequence...yes Sam, really, and I'm sorry. I don't normally use it on people, but I've helped Gabriel solve a few of his cases by waking up murder victims and asking who killed them.' At this point, Gabriel gave the boys an apologetic glance.

'I brought Dean back for this purpose, and I only intended to keep him alive for a minute, even after I realised who he was, but he remembered me, and I couldn't do it. Ever since I've been terrified I'll touch you by accident, and kill you... because I've really grown to care about you, and Gabriel I still have the pencil so don't you dare say what you're thinking.'

He nodded, and glanced around the circle. No one looked particularly surprised, so he guessed Dean must have already told Sam most of it.

He handed the pencil to Dean, and sat back in his seat.

'Ok, so I died. I guess. I can't remember how, but I've been having some nightmares about it I think. Maybe more detail will come back later on... but I'm not sure if I want it to.' He paused while he shuddered, and took a deep breath before continuing. 'I've been thinking about the person who died in my place non-stop, and I don't think I'll feel any better about it until I know who they were. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I was coming here today Cas, but I didn't want to worry you, and I didn't think you'd find out. Err sorry? I knew we could trust Sammy, but I'll leave him to tell you that when he has the pencil, or he won't have anything interesting to say.'

Dean smirked at Sam, who was staring daggers at him, and handed him the pencil.

'Thanks Dean.' He muttered. 'So I guess I'll tell you about our family. Our Mom died when we were little, you know that. But the thing that killed her, wasn't human. And it wasn't just a fire either. It was a demon.'

Then room was silent. It had been silent before obviously, but now it was silent-silent. As in, you-could-hear-a-pin-drop silence.

'I know you two are looking at me like I'm crazy, but it's true. Pretty much every nightmare you've ever had is real. And our Dad fought them. That's why Dean thought he could trust me with your secret Castiel. We've heard about some pretty weird stuff before.'

Cas nodded. As much as he hated to admit it, that made a lot of sense. He had always felt the paranormal existed, how could he not when he could raise the dead? And it explained how easily Dean had accepted the fact that he was dead...

'Okay.' Said Sam. 'So, Gabriel?'

Gabriel nodded and gestured for Sam to give him the pencil. He took it and placed it against his top lip, as if he was thinking.

'Ok, sooooooo. I'm a detective, and I'm trying really freaking hard to catch the guy who killed you Dean. But the guy is good! I mean, even you didn't get a glimpse of him while he was ramming his knife in your back. Kinda looks like it was someone you knew though Dean, you were found in a warehouse near your garage. Looks like someone ganked you on your way home... probably one of your nearest and dearest.'

He slouched further down in his chair before continuing.

'Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure the reason you and my little brother aren't fucking yet is because of the whole 'you'll die if you touch thing.' But I'm sure you guys can work round that somehow right?'

Sam snorted loudly, and smirked at Dean. Dean and Cas were both rambling streams of protests, but Gabriel held the pencil in the air.

'Uh uh! I still hold the pencil. I am still your god.' He winked at Sam again, who looked over at Dean and mouthed _'I knew it._' at him. Dean retaliated with a silent, but still relevant hand gesture, and Sam pretended to look offended.

'Okaaaaaay, aaaaand I declare the pencil rule void. You may now continue as normal.' Gabriel smiled and glanced at his watch. 'I should go to work. Killers don't catch themselves...apparently.'

And with that he strode out of the apartment.

'I better go too, now that I know you're ok... I don't want to leave Meg too long.' Castiel stood up to leave.

'Goodbye Dean.'

He turned and started walking towards the door.

'Hey man! Hold up, where you going?'

Castiel frowned, he was confused. 'Home. I might see you around I guess...if you want?'

'What you don't want me around anymore?' Dean asked.

'No! It's not that, I just thought... now you've found Sam...'

'What that I'd want to live with him?!' Dean and Sam shared a glance, and laughed. 'Dude, me and Sam are close, but I can't live with him! We'd kill each other, could you live with Gabe?'

Castiel shuddered. He saw enough of Gabriel as it was.

'So, you're coming back with me?' he asked. He hoped Dean would say yes... it was nice having someone else around for once.

'If you'll have me!' Dean laughed. 'See you later Sammy.'

'Later man, nice seeing you Castiel!' Sam followed them to the door and closed it behind them.

They walked down the stairs and out of the building together, and they were on the street before Castiel realised, and swore.

'What?' Dean asked.

Castiel looked at him and smiled grimly.

'My brother took the car again... and I don't have my wallet on me.'

Dean pulled his out of his pocket, and inspected the contents. Unless they used his bank card, which was risky... then they had no money.

'So I guess we walk.'


	9. Chapter 8

**AN: So I've finally worked out where I'm going with this story, but it looks like this might be more complicated than I originally thought! I want to give you guys a good fic, so I may have to cut back to updates a few times a week, rather than daily. **

**So let me know how it's going so far! Leave a review. (:**

**(P.S I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR THE FLUFFINESS OF THIS CHAPTER.)**

Chapter 8

Meg had just had one hell of a day. She had sold practically every pie they had had before four o' clock, meaning she had to justify the lack of pie to several annoyed customers who were on their way home from work.

Eventually she had just flipped the sign shut, and started on the mountain of dishes that had accumulated. She didn't understand what had been happening to Feathers recently, he used to be so reliable. He had no social life, apart from his dick of a brother, and he never had time off work... these last few days she'd hardly seen him. Oh yeah, she would be having words with Thursday.

She assumed it was because of the new man in Castiel's life, but she didn't want to think about it too hard. She had accepted that Castiel preferred men when she had first met him, but an interesting conversation with Gabriel at the Christmas party last year had revealed that Cas had dated girls a few times... so perhaps he didn't always swing lefty.

For the record, the Christmas party had consisted of Meg, Gabriel, Castiel and one of their regulars. If this wasn't a good measure of Castiel's social life, she didn't know what was.

So yes, in summary, Meg thought Castiel was a total dweeb... but she couldn't help having a soft spot for the guy.

It was about half six when Dean and Cas came through the door of the pie shop. They were laughing, but they looked exhausted.

'What the hell happened to you guys?' She snapped.

If Dean and Cas heard the edge in her voice, they either didn't notice... or didn't care.

'Gabriel left us, and we were stranded, had to walk home.' Cas smiled. 'Everything ok here?'

'Oh yeah sure... except for me being run off my feet, having to deal with a hundred customers on my own, and you selling completely out of everything!'

Castiel winced. 'Sorry Meg, I'll pay you overtime if you want? To make up for me leaving.'

She blew air out through her nose, and nodded. Money wasn't the point, but she didn't want to sound like it bothered her. She wasn't like that.

Dean patted Castiel on the back, before heading past her and up to the apartment, leaving her and Cas alone. She noticed that Cas looked slightly nervous at the physical contact between him and Dean. It gave her hope, she really did care about Castiel more than she should... and screw wanting Castiel to be happy... she just wanted him.

'I guess I need to do a hell of a lot of baking tonight then.' Cas sighed. He really did look exhausted.

'No offense dude, but you look like death, and if you die on me tomorrow I'll be out of a job. So... don't stay up all night baking, just stay closed tomorrow to catch up, and we'll open on Saturday.'

Cas looked horrified for a second, and Meg laughed.

'Seriously man, you're open seven days a week! Take a break.'

'I guess you're right, so... I'll see you Saturday?'

'Sure.' She smiled. 'Have a good Thursday Clarence.'

When Meg was gone, Castiel locked the door, turned off the lights, and practically ran upstairs. Dean was sat of the sofa watching TV when Castiel walked in. He was watching a cheesy hospital drama, but pretended to be channel surfing when Castiel came in. This made Cas smile, Dean really was a petty and childish man.

'Soooo... Disney film?' Cas asked.

Dean turned round and looked at him questioningly. 'I thought Meg said you'd sold out... no baking?'

'No baking, we're taking the day off tomorrow!'

Dean grinned. 'Aweeesomme. Film day!'

'Nuh uh.' Cas tutted, 'film evening – tomorrow, we bake. And yes Dean...That means you as well.'

Dean paled. 'Cas, I've never baked a pie in my life.'

'You'll learn.' He smiled and walked over to his film shelf. He selected a disk and put it in the player.

Twenty minutes later they were both engrossed in 'Hercules'. Castiel hadn't wanted to admit how much he loved it, but he somehow knew all the lyrics to every song. He would have been embarrassed, but he could hear Dean singing under his breath when he thought Cas couldn't hear.

Castiel woke up with a strange pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw it was Dean's head. His first thought was panic... he had fallen asleep and accidentally killed his best friend! He quickly realised that Dean was breathing though, and relaxed a bit. He had no idea how they had even got into this position, they had been on separate sides of the sofa to start off with! Carefully Castiel extracted his arms from his side, and from around Dean, and raised them above his head so as to avoid skin to skin contact with Dean. Jesus, Dean's head was about an inch from his bare neck. Castiel couldn't even bear to think about what could have happened.

'Dean.' He spoke loudly, but tried not to sound too desperate, or sudden. The last thing he needed was Dean jolting awake and touching him.

Dean stirred, and opened his eyes. Castiel felt him freeze when he realised where he was.

'Dude.' He whispered.

'Yeah ok Dean, it's fine... just get up slowly, and it'll be fine.'

Slowly Dean raised his head, and shuffled away from Cas. He watched as terror flashed across Dean's face. It was only for a second, before he could conceal it, but Castiel saw. He was a danger to Dean, it was time he accepted it.

Groaning, he placed his face into his hands.

'Hey, it's alright man. We just fell asleep... nothing happened. I'm fine!' Dean sounded confident, and Castiel knew he was trying to reassure him. But he felt terrible.

'Dean, it's too dangerous for you to live here! What if that happens again? What if I come out of the bathroom too fast and bump into you?'

'Cas calm down! We'll be fine!'

'But what if we're not Dean?' Cas whispered. 'What if I kill you, what then.'

Dean looked at him, and was surprised to see that Castiel was fighting back tears.

'I couldn't live with that Dean.' He said. His voice breaking ever so slightly as he said Dean's name. It broke Dean's heart, it really did.

'Cas, I want to stay here. I like living here. These few days with you, I've had more fun with you than I've had in years. And I _died_. So that's saying something.'

Dean looked around, and his eyes fell on the glass coffee table in front of him. Leaning forward, he placed his hand on the underside of the tale, palm up.

'We'll get through this man. We'll fix this, or we'll learn to love with it. Because I'm not giving up on this.'

Castiel looked back at Dean, and put his hand on the table over Deans. They were separated by glass, but it looked real for a second. Castiel closed his eyes, and tried to imagine he felt Dean's hand squeezing his, warm and reassuring. But all he felt was cold glass.

But then he opened his eyes, and Dean was watching him, smiling at him. He was there, and they were together. It would be fine.

He nodded. 'Ok Dean.'

The next morning, Castiel woke early, as usual. He normally opened by 8 on a Friday, and so wasn't used to a lie in. He let Dean stay asleep though, while he intended to have Dean up to semi-decent baking standards by the end of the day, he didn't think it would help if he dragged Dean out of bed early. So he left a note, and went down to the kitchen to start baking.

Dean woke up a couple of hours later. Heading into the kitchen, he found a note written in Castiel's handwriting.

_Dean – Deal of the day: The only free pie you get, is one you make yourself. Take it or leave it._

- _Cas_

_P.S Wear old clothes. _

Dean smiled. He wasn't the baking type, but he really did like eating... and a day in the kitchen with Castiel didn't sound like the worst thing in the world.

Entering the kitchen, he saw Castiel was already hard at work rolling out bits of pastry. There was already flour everywhere. For such a tidy guy, Cas sure did make a mess when he cooked. There was white all over his shirt already. Castiel looked so at home there though, he really was in his element... and Dean had to admit, he looked good. He had swapped his usual button up shirt and tie, for a blue T-shirt. Blue was so his colour. Dean frowned at himself... When did he turn into a teenage girl?

Castiel looked up, saw Dean, and grinned. 'Ready for this?'

'As I'll ever be.'

Dean picked it up quicker than Castiel had expected. He seemed to find a sort of childish pleasure in getting his hands dirty with the pastry. Castiel cooked the fruit while Dean made the pastry cases, and soon they had a pretty good system going on. They stopped for lunch while the second batch of pies were in the oven, and talked about their time together as children. They laughed as they remembered running away from Sam, and playing with Dean's toy cars. After half an hour or so they were back to baking.

Dean got a ball of pastry out of the fridge where it had been cooling, and threw it down on to the table. What Dean hadn't seen was the pile of flour on the table, and when the pastry hit, this flew up off the bench, and into Castiel's face.

Cas gasped, and brought his hands up to brush it off. He didn't get it all though, and it settled in his hair, making it look grey. Dean started laughing. His laugh started out as a giggle, but it grew to a chuckle when he saw Castiel's indignant expression, and soon Dean was in hysterics.

Cas smirked. 'Something funny Winchester?' he grabbed a pinch of flour, and flicked it at Dean, laughing when it hit it's mark.

'Oh it is so on.' Said Dean.

They flitted round the kitchen throwing flour and sugar, and the cloud of white around them grew, and grew until they could barely see each other. They stopped for breath, both laughing hysterically as the flour settled.

Dean looked over at Cas, and couldn't contain his grin. He was covered in flour, and was still giggling. Dean hadn't seen him this happy since they were children. It suited him. It made his whole face light up, and little crinkles formed around the edges of his eyes.

Without thinking, Dean grabbed a sheet of cling film from the work top, and held it up to Castiel's face. Cas had only a second to be confused before Dean was pressing his lips against Castiel's through the thin plastic sheet.

It was a dangerous move, in more than one way... and Dean's heart was pounding as he pulled away. He tried to read Castiel's expression, but it was difficult for once.

'That was...' Cas started.

'Stupid, dangerous I know. I'm sorry.' Dean spoke quickly, and looked down at the floor. What the hell had he been thinking? Actually no. He hadn't been thinking. That was the problem.

'No, Dean. That was... amazing.'

Dean stared at him. Had he even heard that right? He couldn't have. Castiel was blushing though...

There was a silence that stretched on for a few seconds, before there was a knocking on the door. Cas frowned, it couldn't be a customer, he had flipped the sign to closed.

He popped his head around the corner, and saw Gabriel peering through the door. Sighing, he walked over and let him in.

_'_Bro, you're never closed what's going on?'

He looked at Castiel and took in his appearance for the first time.

'Am I interrupting something?' he asked.

'No! Just baking.' Castiel replied. His eye twitched, and Gabriel smirked.

'Whatever. Dean in the kitchen then? I need to talk to you guys.'

Cas nodded, and followed Gabriel back to the other room. What would Gabe need to talk to Dean about?

Gabriel smirked once more when he noticed Dean was just as covered in flour as Cas was. Castiel wished his brother wouldn't do that so much. It made him want to punch him.

'Dean.' Gabriel acknowledged. 'I have stuff to say.'

For once, Gabriel actually looked serious, and Dean pulled up a stool and sat down at the table.

'Basically, I've had a breakthrough, with your case.'

Castiel raised an eyebrow. Gabriel doing work? That was a first.

Dean nodded for Gabe to continue.

Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. 'I've got a few bits of pieces of information together... and well, I'm not sure. But you know how I said the killer most likely knew you?'

They nodded. 'Well... it looks like this might go further back than any of us imagined.'

He paused.

'And it might involve more of us than just you.'


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: Eeeeeep I don't really know where I'm going with this, but it's exciting! (:**

Chapter 9

There was a silence that lasted for a few minutes, while Dean and Cas pondered the implications of what Gabriel had just said.

_'It might involve more than just you.'_

Did he mean Castiel was involved? Cas had no idea how it could, unless the killer had found out that Dean was alive, and staying with him.

Eventually it was Dean that spoke. 'What are you talking about?'

Gabriel sighed. 'So after our conversation the other day, where you and Sam told me about all the scary things being real, I remembered something we'd found a while ago and dismissed. '

He glanced up at Dean, and then pulled up a chair, and sat down opposite Dean. Castiel walked over and stood behind Dean.

'So I guess you must know, we didn't find anything at the scene of your murder. This guy is good. I mean, really good. No fingerprints, no weapons, no sign that anyone other than you had been there. But one of the boys found a scrap of paper outside. It didn't have anything written on it, but it had the address of a motel just outside of town on it. Now I know that's not much to go on, it wasn't even at the scene. But we had nothing to go on at all... so we thought, hey, why not?'

Gabriel paused for a second. He was trying to make sure he didn't miss anything out, he didn't really want to repeat himself.

'So we went to the motel, and asked for a list of guests. We did a scout of the rooms, and everything looked normal, except for the fact that no one had seen one of the guests for a few days. Before the time when Dean was killed. We went to check his room out, and all his stuff was there, but there was nothing to suggest he'd done anything wrong? You know?'

They nodded.

'Well yeah, we were just doing a final sweep round, to be sure. And I saw this weird old book thing. I opened it up, and it was just full of nonsense. None of us could find any sort of logic in it, so we left it.'

'Then we were just leaving, when one of the cops found a knife in one of the drawers. I mean, we all thought this could be it. So we waited, I mean we staked the place out for two days and it was booooorrrriiing. But he never showed up. Eventually we just bagged the stuff, and took it back to the station. The next day was resurrection day, and I was hoping you'd know something about your killer. But no, that'd be far too easy wouldn't it?'

Dean crumples under Gabriel's accusing stare. 'Errr...sorry?'

Castiel frowned, and hovered his hand over Dean's shoulder. 'It's not his fault Gabriel.'

'Ppft whatever.' Gabriel snorted. 'Where was I? Oh yeah, so yadda yadda yadda, you know what happened next, up to when Sam told me about hunters. So I thought, huh. Demons and stuff are real? Who knew. And then it dawned on me. It was one of those light bulb moments you know? I felt like a freaking genius let me tell you.'

'Gabriel...' Castiel interrupted his brothers self flattery. 'Get to the point.'

He stuck his tongue out at Castiel. 'I went back to the book stupid! And all the nonsense in it, wasn't so weird. It was filled with all this crap about ghosts and demons and spells!'

'Wait... so a hunter's journal? I was killed by a _hunter?!' _Dean sounded offended.

'I'm not so sure. From what you said, the hunters are normally against the supernatural stuff right?'

Dean nodded.

'Well this guy seemed to love it. It's all talk about summoning demons, raising the dead and stuff. But not the way Cassie does it, like. Serious stuff man.'

He frowned. 'And that's not all. Thing is, I was looking back. And I found the name John Winchester, in several places. He seemed to have been keeping track of your daddy Dean. When you were living in Lawrence.'

'But why?' Asked Dean.

Gabriel shrugged. 'Beats me bucko. Maybe he was just making sure your Daddy didn't get involved in whatever he was doing.'

'What was he doing?' This was Castiel now. He couldn't help but get a bad feeling about this.

'Well that's where it gets sucky again. There are a few pages torn out, and it looks like it was from around the time John died. We have no way to know what he was doing.'

'But there is one other thing. There is another name in the journal.'

He paused, trying to see if they'd caught on yet... but their faces remained blank.

'Novak.' He sighed. 'It said Novak, Cas. I think... I think this guy was keeping track of all of us. And it looks like he lived close.'

Their faces still gave nothing away. Gabriel couldn't decide if they were in shock, or if they weren't getting it.

'Look guys, It's looking like this guys was obsessed with Dean's Dad, and also black magic. Now that doesn't sound like a winning combo to me. My theory? The guy was doing something bad, and was worried John knew about it. Now I'm not saying he killed him, I'm fairly sure we can pin than one on ol' 'Rise and Shine' over there...'

Castiel blushed and looked down at his feet.

'But what if he thought John had told you or Sam something? What if he found out that you guys had his journal and freaked? You know... maybe he wanted to tie off the loose ends?'

Dean was worried now. This guy had killed him, and he had always just assumed that it was done. But this made him uneasy... what if he knew he was alive again... and even more likely... what if he was now coming for Sammy?

But it looked like Gabriel hadn't finished talking. 'The thing is guys, yeah sure, if this guy lived on our street then he would know the name Novak. But why would he write it in his journal? I mean there must have been ten families on that road. Why us? I just think the timing is too much of a coincidence here.'

He paused and ran his hands through his hair leaving it in a state of disarray. He looked worried. Castiel wasn't sure if he had ever seen Gabriel scared before.

'I just can't shake the feeling that all this has something to do with your power, Cas.'

Castiel hummed in the back of his throat as he thought it over. Gabriel was right. It couldn't be chance that whoever this man was, he had been doing all of this, at the same time as Cas noticed his abilities beginning.

'We have to warn Sam.' Said Dean.

Gabriel nodded. 'I'll go over there now. You two need time to process this. I can tell him.'

Dean started to protest, but Castiel stopped him.

'Gabriel's right. I think we need to sit down and think all this through, Sam will be fine for now. He's clever. Gabe can tell him.'

Dean relented, and nodded silently. His head was spinning, and he felt like his legs were about to collapse. He couldn't help but think how different his life could have been if it wasn't for all this supernatural crap. Gabriel patted Castiel on the shoulder, smiled grimly and left. Dean walked upstairs in a haze. He was vaguely aware of Castiel saying things, but he wasn't listening. Eventually, he just went to bed.

It seemed like a lot more than a few hours ago that he was having a flour fight, and kind of kissing his best friend in the kitchen.


	11. Chapter 10

**AN: So chapter 10 wow... I never thought this would make it this far at all. And now I can really see myself finish it, thanks to all your lovely reviews and favourites and follows. Thank you! I have it all planned out now, so I just need to write! enjoy (: **

Chapter 10

The apartment was silent that night, but neither Dean nor Castiel was sleeping. Dean had excused himself unusually early to go to bed because he didn't feel like talking, but now he was just lying awake in the living room staring at the ceiling. A ray of moonlight slipped in through a crack in the curtains and fell across Dean's face, the light was bright in his eyes but he couldn't even bring himself to move away.

His mind was still racing. He was worried about Sam. He knew that he would be careful now that Gabriel had warned him, but they weren't even hunters... Dean was a mechanic. And Sam was a student. What were they even supposed to do if threatened? Dean had never hurt anyone before, except for the odd schoolyard fight... what if, if it came to it, he couldn't even defend Sam... or Castiel.

And that was another thing. If Gabriel was right, and Castiel's power was something to do with his murderer, then was it the Novak's friendship with the Winchesters that had dragged Castiel into all of this?

It seemed impossible that they could have had such an impact on each other's lives without even knowing.

With a sigh, he sat up on his camp bed and scratched his head. There really was no point trying to sleep, he thought he may as well go and do something, as long as he was careful not to wake up Castiel. Carefully, he raised himself off the bed... it only creaked a little. Dean smiled, remembering how just the other day Cas had insisted Dean take his bed for the night, because he felt bad making Dean sleep on the camp bed every night. Dean said that it didn't matter, he'd never really had a proper long-term bed of his own anyway... and so it didn't bother him.

Dean won in the end, but as Castiel stalked out of the room in a stubborn protest Dean felt sad. Castiel had a double bed, and although neither of them had said it, they both knew that they would be comfortable enough sharing, if there wasn't risk of Castiel rolling over in the night, and literally killing Dean.

Quietly he made his way to the kitchen, and turned the kettle on. He didn't think it would make much noise... and if he was getting up he may as well have some coffee.

A few minutes later he heard a noise behind him, and jumped round fast (This whole thing was making him on edge) but it was only Castiel. He was standing in the doorway smiling at Dean. Cas looked like he had been in bed, sure; his hair was messy, and he was only wearing his boxers and a t-shirt. But Dean could tell he hadn't slept either, he looked awake... so there was no way he had been asleep recently. He had noticed Castiel took at least half an hour to stop being sleepy in the mornings. But at the same time, he looked tired. Dean couldn't blame him, he knew how he felt.

'You too then?' Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. 'Tossing and turning' he quipped, with a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes.

'Coffee?' Dean asked. He started to pour it out into two mugs before he even saw Cas nod, and Castiel sat down at the table and put his hands together. For a second, Dean thought he was praying... but when he looked again, he could tell Cas was just worried.

'Here we go!' He tried to keep his tone cheerful, as he placed the mug down on the table But the look Castiel gave him told him that Cas wasn't buying it.

He sat down with a sigh. 'Sucks.' He said simply.

Castiel laughed grimly. 'Yeah, it does.'

They sat in silence for a while, before Castiel spoke.

'You know we'll be alright don't you? You and me. And our brothers, we'll get through this.

Dean wanted to believe him... he really did. But he was sick of getting bad news all the freaking time. He just couldn't see the silver lining...He pressed his lips together and nodded, not quite looking at Castiel.

'I'm serious Dean! We're alive aren't we? We're here, together... for the first time in nineteen years! That's something right?' he waited for Dean so smile a little, before continuing.

'You'll see man. It might be week from now, or a month maybe. Hell maybe even longer, but we'll look back on this and laugh. Gabe will catch the guy, and it'll all work out.'

Castiel was trying hard to believe his own words, and he did. Kind of. He did think that Gabriel would catch Dean's killer, his brother was actually a better detective than he let on... He just wasn't sure if it would work out so simply with his power. Whoever this guy was, Castiel felt sure that he had something to do with it, and he didn't see that part resolving itself so simply. But hey, can't have everything right! They would all get through this unscathed. He was sure of it.

'Yeah either that or we'll die tragically like Romeo and Juliet after a wild three day relationship.' Dean laughed.

'That's not funny Dean.' Castiel deadpanned. He looked hurt, and Dean immediately regretted speaking.

'Shit, I'm sorry i'm only joking man... I didn't want to upset you'

'I am upset Dean, deeply upset that you compared our relationship to a romance between a seventeen year old boy, and a thirteen year old girl. Are you insinuation I am immature? Or simply a paedophile?'

Dean was shocked into silence for a second, before Castiel caught his eyes and snorted. Unable to control himself any longer, he lets the giggle out, and it quickly grows into a heavy laugh. Dean watches his for a second, before starting to laugh as well. It feels good to be joking again, and it feels like a weight has been lifted.

'You... should have... seen... your face!' Castiel gasps out, he has tears running down his cheeks.

Dean grins. 'Yeah yeah you really got me. Congrats.'

From then on in the night isn't as dark anymore. The conversation is light, and both men talk till morning, about everything. There is never an awkward silence, the conversation just flows. And it feels right.

At 6.00am, Dean stands up, and goes to ring Sam.

'Won't it be too early?' Cas asks.

'Na, Sammy gets up freakishly early to go for a run before lectures. He's a real health buff. I should just catch him.'

He leaves Castiel in the kitchen, and walks into the living room to make the call. He returns a minute or two later, looking worried.

'Sam's not picking up. I rang three times.'

Castiel smiled at him. 'Dean it's early, maybe he's taken a morning off? He could be in the shower. He'll call back.'

However, two hours passed, and Sam still wasn't answering. Castiel could see Dean growing more and more restless. He had to admit he was starting to get concerned. Dean knew Sam better than anyone, and if he said Sam always answered, then he knew best.

After another half an hour Castiel agreed to go looking for Sam. He should really open the shop at 9.00, but honestly no one ever came in before eleven on a weekend so he could afford to be a couple of hours late. Honestly, Dean really was a terrible influence on him.

Castiel could see that Dean was growing more and more frantic each time he rang through to voice mail. They were both thinking of horrible scenarios involving Sam, and the killer. Could Sam already be dead? Eventually, Castiel caved, and suggested they stop off at Gabriel's apartment, and ask him to help them look. Dean happily agreed.

Ten minutes later, Castiel was knocking on his big brother's door. When Gabriel answered it, it was obvious he had been in bed. He was wearing sweatpants, but his hair was all over the place. It was a degree of messy that Castiel hadn't seen on his brother before... and that was saying something.

'Hello Gabriel, we can't find Sam, and we're worried that he might be in trouble, help us look.'

'Woaaaaah.' Gabriel sighed. 'Hold your horses guys, he's probably just asleep or something. If he's still not called in a few hours... then we'll look.' He patted Dean on his shoulder. It was a patronising gesture.

'He's a _big_ boy now Dean-o. He can look after himself.'

Dean growled in frustration, but didn't say anything. Under any other circumstances he would have agreed he was being over protective... but these days, who knew.

'Gabriel, show some compassion! Don't you care where Sam is?' Castiel asked. He was confused by Gabriel's lack of emotion. He had thought Gabriel and Sam got along well!

'Of course I do! I'm just not that worried, that's all!'

'How can you be so relaxed? How can you stand there and tell me he'll be fine after _everything _you told me yesterday?' Dean's voice was raised. He was trying hard not to shout, but they could all hear the anger in his voice.

'Who gives you the right? To pretend you care about my brother, when you obviously don't give a shit.'

Gabriel threw his head back, and groaned. 'I can stand here and say it'll be fine, because I know it will be, okay Bucko? You wanna know why?'

He swung the door to the apartment all the way open, to reveal Sam standing with a mug of coffee, smiling sheepishly. His shirt was unbuttoned, and there was a distinct purple mark on his neck.

Dean stepped forwards, his mouth open. Gabriel came up behind him, and gripped his shoulders, smirking.

'And errr actually, Sam gave me the right. If you're still interested.'

Castiel groaned, and put his face in his hands. This could only end badly.


	12. Chapter 11

**AN:**** Apologies for the late update! It's been such a mental week! **

**Also... this is kind of a filler chapter... (don't hate me!) But after this it will definitely start heating up, and there will be action from now on. So I hope you enjoy! **

Chapter 11

There was absolute silence inside Gabriel's apartment. Dean had been shocked into silence, Sam felt too awkward to talk, Cas didn't know what to say, and Gabriel was enjoying the awkwardness far too much to break the quiet.

Eventually Dean spoke. 'Sam... gave you the right?' He repeated Gabriel's statement from before, in disbelief.

Gabriel nodded. 'Twice.' He sounded smug, and the corners of his mouth were turning up slightly. Cas could tell he was trying _really_ hard not to grin. At least that was something.

'You stupid son of a bitch.' Dean muttered. He was talking to Sam now.

'Excuse me?' Sam asked.

'I can't believe you just jump into bed with some dick you've known for less than a week!'

'Hey!' Gabriel protested...'He didn't jump in that would have broken the bed... I mean have you seen the guy?'

Castiel gave Gabriel a warning look, but Sam and Dean acted as if they hadn't heard him.

'Dean, I'm a grown man. You don't have to look after me anymore! This is ridiculous!'

'I'm ridiculous? _I'm ridiculous? _Sam you're being crazy... you don't know a thing about him.'

'Errr, I'd say he does Dean-o' Gabriel said with a wink.

Dean growled, and Cas said 'Don't be so crude Gabriel.'

Gabriel looked exasperated. 'I'm not! If I wanted to be crude I would have told him that I took his brother and s-'

He was silenced, as Castiel had sprung forward and shoved his hand over Gabriel's mouth. Dean looked livid.

'You little-' Words failed Dean, He was seeing red now... and he didn't even know why.

'Dean...' Cas pleaded.

'It's my choice Dean.' Sam said.

'Like hell it is.' Dean muttered. He took three strides across the room so he was face to face with Gabriel.

'Stay away from him.' Said Dean, through gritted teeth.

'Ok Bucko, firstly no. I like your brother, comprende? And secondly, have you considered that the reason you're oh so angry about me ruffling your brothers feathers, is because you're just upset that you can't ruffle _my_ brothers?'

Castiel groaned, and ran his hand through his hair. Dean took a step back from Gabriel and glanced hurriedly at Sam, and then Castiel, his gaze lingering for a second.

'Fuck you.' He addressed Gabriel surprisingly calmly, before storming out of the room.

'Well... that went well I thought?' said Gabe, wringing his hands together. Castiel and Sam looked at him exasperated.

Sam smiled at him sadly. 'You couldn't have gone easy on him?'

'Hey I did!' Said Gabriel, he looked genuinely offended.

He walked over to the sofa and sat down beside Sam. 'I didn't even mention the thing with...'

Gabriel fell silent at the look on Sam's face, and settled for winking at him instead. Castiel felt a bit awkward just standing in the middle of the apartment watching them.

'So, I better go find Dean... check he's ok.' Cas murmured.

Gabriel looked at him and smirked. 'Yeah, you do that.' He winked.

'Shut up.' He muttered. 'Bye Sam.'

Sam raised his hand, as a farewell gesture, and Castiel walked out of the flat, closing the door behind him.

Outside, there was no sign of Dean. Castiel sighed, remembering that Dean had had money on him, and he'd probably taken the bus or got a taxi, so that he could be as far away as possible. Castiel only hoped that Dean had gone home.

_Home._ He had thought it without thinking. When had Castiel's apartment become Dean's home? When had Castiel's home started meaning Dean? In just a few short days the mechanic had worked his way into Castiel's life. He only hoped Dean would stay.

Not wanting to waste time waiting for a bus, Castiel signalled a taxi and hopped in. It hardly took any time to get back. He paid the driver, and hoped out, almost running inside the cafe.

'Hey Meg! Has Dean come back?'

'He ran upstairs about ten minutes ago, he looked pretty upset actually? Lovers tiff?'

'Nothing like that!' He called as he pushed past her, and jogged up the stairs. He was halfway up when he realised he hadn't even corrected her about him and Dean being lovers. No doubt he'd hear about that later.

When he entered the apartment, Dean was sat on the couch hands folded, staring into space.

'Hey man, sorry... I freaked.'

Castiel walked over and sat down at the other end, hands on his knees.

'Do you want to talk about this?'

Dean sighed. 'I'm just over protective with Sammy, always have been. I know I was a jerk...'

Castiel frowned. 'That's not what I meant Dean.'

Dean looked at him confused. So Cas went on. 'Was Gabriel right? Were you jealous of their relationship... because we can't have one?'

Dean blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck. 'What? No. _No._ I just, overreacted that's all... I'm going to take a shower.'

He stood up, and hurried to the bathroom without making eye contact. Castiel waited until he heard the water hitting off the tiles, before grabbing an apron, and heading down to the shop. He paused for a second, on the other side of his door. 'Oh Dean.' He whispered. Dean never made anything easy did he?

Castiel felt like it had been ages since he had worked in his shop, but he soon got back into the swing of things. Castiel was an expert at selling pies. He knew exactly what to say to persuade people to make a purchase, and the tips jar was always full on the days Castiel was serving. Customers loved him, he was friendly and talkative. Honestly, Castiel was born to do this.

He hardly noticed the hours passing, and only stopped when Meg suggested he took five minutes break, before he passed out. It was already two o clock, so he agreed and took a table by the window. He sat quietly sipping a glass of water, watching as Meg saw some customers out, and cleared their places. When she was done, she came down and sat opposite him.

'Shouldn't you be working?' he asked her, raising an eyebrow.

She grinned. 'Look around you Clarence... see any customers?'

He glanced around, and saw she was right. The Pie Hole was temporarily deserted.

'So, everything good with you and Ken Doll?'

Cas nodded. 'Fine thank you.'

'So are we talking about it or...?'

'Or.'

Meg snorted. 'Alright then, suit yourself...' She stood up and sauntered into the kitchen.

Castiel was only left on his own for a minute or so, before he heard the bell ring, and looked up to see Gabriel hurrying through the door. He saw Castiel, and quickly walked over and slid into the seat opposite Cas.

'So, you've come to apologise to Dean?'

Gabriel snorted. 'Hell no. His issues, I've done nothing wrong.'

Castiel rolled his eyes, but stayed quiet. Gabriel took this as his cue to continue.

'So yeah basically... me and Sam were doing some research.'

Castiel gave him a reproachful look.

'Hey not like that!' Gabriel snapped. 'Actual research... we were going through John's journal.'

Castiel stiffened in his seat, he took a deep breath, and tried to brace himself for the blow he knew was coming, after a second, he nodded for Gabriel to continue.

'We were looking through notes from just before he died. Around the time you got your powers yadda yadda yadda... and well...'

He paused, and brought his hands up in front of him, his fingers interlocking.

'Does the name 'Azazel' mean anything to you?'


	13. Chapter 12

**AN: Tah dah! Update. So yeah, tell me what you're thinking? Like where this is going? Not so much? I want to know! Review and make my day (: **

Chapter 12

_'Does the name 'Azazel' mean anything to you?'_

Castiel frowned at Gabriel. He didn't know what he wanted him to say. He shook his head. No. He had never heard the name before.

Gabriel sighed, and leaned back in his chair. 'Damn. Me neither.'

'Well what was the point of asking then?'

Gabriel leaned forward onto the table, his fingers interlocked. He regarded Castiel steadily with a focus Cas rarely saw on his brothers face.

'We found an entry in John Winchester's journal that we think may be a clue.'

Castiel sighed. 'Yeah, you said that Gabriel, come on.'

Gabriel raised his hands in a 'whoa there' type gesture. 'Calm down! Just checking that you're following me...'

He reached into his jacket, and pulled out a small leather bound book. He found a page, and slid it over to Castiel, pointing to an entry.

'_Azazel suspects. Proceed with caution.'_

Castiel frowned. 'Gabriel, that tells us nothing! This could be to do with any case he was working on, we know he was a hunter!'

This made Gabriel smile, 'True. But thankfully, Sam's not just a pretty face, he's also a sucker for cross referencing.'

'Meaning...?'

'Meaning, me and Sam-squatch had a good ol' look through the other journal, the one Dean's killer kept, and he's written a few dates here and there. So we managed to date most of his entries... close enough anyway.'

He paused, as if waiting for some sort of acknowledgement. 'Err... very clever.' Castiel said. Gabriel nods, and reaches into the other side of his jacket to produce the other journal. How he had been concealing both of them, Castiel would never know.

'So, we worked out that this entry here, in the killer's diary... is from around the same time as the one in Johns.

'_He knows about the boy. Tidy up.'_

'So, you think... he's talking about John?' Castiel asked.

'Pretty sure' Gabriel nods. 'We know he knew John... and probably lived on our street. So yeah it's safe to assume the journal entries are talking about each other.'

Castiel understands now. 'So we can assume the killer's name is Azazel.'

'Or at least, that's what John called him.'

Gabriel looked excited.

'But where does this get us?' asks Cas.

Gabriel exhales loudly, 'Beats me man, I was hoping you'd know the name.'

'We can ask Dean?'

'Sure, but he was just a kid too Cas, I doubt he'll remember more than us.'

There was a silence for a few minutes before Castiel spoke.

'What the hell is going on Gabriel.'

Gabriel shrugged, and looked at Castiel sympathetically. 'Not too sure man, but from what I've seen of Azazel's diary? It ain't good. Like I don't know anything about this monster crap, but it looks dark buddy.'

He leaned over and grabbed Cas's glass of water and took a gulp, ignoring Castiel's protests.

'Don't be a baby.' He smirked slamming it down on the table. 'What I wanna know, is what Azazel was doing. It looks like John was onto him, but it doesn't say if he stopped him or not.'

Castiel gulped. 'He says 'the boy'. That could be any one of us, Dean, you... me.'

He trailed off. A shiver ran down his spine, and he started to sweat. He still couldn't shake the feeling that this was to do with him, and his power.

'Gabriel what-'

Gabriel recognised the panic in his little brother's eyes, and immediately jumped in to calm him down. 'Hey now fella, let's not jump to conclusions... we need to do a little more digging before we can tell if this has _anything_ to do with you.'

Castiel nodded, and took a sip of water. It was in his mouth before he remembered Gabriel had drunk from it. He forced himself to swallow, barely avoiding choking, and looked at his brother with a look of disgust on his face.

Gabriel guffawed. 'Man you are ridiculous... oh god you should see your face... stop you're killing me!' He soon descended into giggles, and eventually Cas managed a smile.

'So, are we going to go tell Dean this?' Castiel asked.

Gabriel pouted a bit. 'I don't wanna.'

'Gabriel, don't be a child.'

'You can do it.' He insisted

Castiel frowned. 'Gabe you're the detective, I need you there!'

'But he was really rude to me! And I didn't even do anything!'

Cas inhaled deeply. 'Gabe, you screwed his little brother.'

'So? I'd let _him_ screw_ my _little brother and not be mean about it...'

'Gabriel!'

'What?!'

A few minutes later, Castiel pulled out the key to his apartment, and unlocked the door. Gabriel followed him inside looking sheepish.

Dean was sat at the kitchen table, he looked up and smiled at Cas when he entered... but his face hardened when his eyes fell on Gabriel.

'What's he doing here?' He asked.

Gabriel snorted. 'Oh beliiiieeeve me chuckles I would not be here, if it wasn't for my whiny little brother.'

Cas scowled at them both. 'Dean, Gabriel has found something...'

Dean smirked. 'Aww, did you do that all by yourself?'

'Actually your little brother helped...' Gabriel said, straight faced. Castiel sighed. He wished they wouldn't wind each other up like this.

Dean started to march towards Gabriel again before Castiel stopped him. 'Dean!'

Dean turned to Cas in frustration. 'What?! He started it!'

Castiel gave him a 'and I'm finishing it' look, and Dean looked at his shoes.

'Dean.' Cas started. 'Are you really angry at Gabriel here?'

Dean mumbled something.

'I didn't catch that, Dean.'

'No.'

'And why is that?' Castiel prompted.

'Because Sammy's a big boy alright?' Dean snapped.

'Hells yeah he is.' Gabriel chirped in.

'Shut up.' Castiel said quickly. 'Gabriel, are you sorry for purposefully aggravating Dean?'

Gabriel looked at Cas, horrified. 'I didn't do anything!' he raised his hands above his head, and pouted.

'Gabriel...' Castiel warned.

'Fine. I realise now, that my light hearted humour may have offended Dean, as he has the brain of a squirrel and therefore couldn't tell I was joking...'

Deans fists clenched and unclenched by his sides. He was trying hard to restrain himself, Castiel thought. At least he was trying.

'Can we just say sorry and move on? Gabriel?'

'What, no?! I'm not saying sorry first he's the one who shoved me. He _shoved _me!'

Castiel sighed. 'Dean?'

Dean looked at Cas, and pointed to Gabriel. 'No way man, he has to go first I didn't sleep with his little brother!'

'Yet.' Gabriel added with a double finger point towards Dean.

'Shut up Gabriel!' Dean and Cas said in unison.

'Caaaaaas.' Dean whined. 'Don't make me do this man, I don't want to have to do this.'

Castiel regarded Dean steadily. Dean met his gaze determinedly for a few seconds, before crumbling.

'Fine! I'm sorry.' He looked at Cas. 'Okay?'

Castiel nodded, but Gabriel made a whip sound and Dean pointed at Gabriel again, looking to Cas for help.

'Gabriel you too.' Castiel said firmly.

'What?! No. You don't owwwn me little brother. It's Dean that's your little bitch not me.'

Dean started to roll up his sleeves, but Castiel put an arm out in front of Dean... for a second, he worried that he couldn't physically restrain Dean, if needs be. Because of the whole touching thing, but then he relaxed. He was fairly sure he had this under control.

He continued to stare at Gabriel, until the shorter man threw his hands up. 'Fine! Whatever! Sorry Dean...'

'Say it like you mean it.' Dean said with a smirk.

'Okay! Children!' Castiel stepped between them. 'Everyone's sorry. Let's just... move on.'

Dean folded his arms and nodded.

Cas stepped back, so the other men were left looking at each other.

'Shake hands.' He said.

'Whaaaaaaat?' They both said, glancing in Castiel's direction.

'Do it.'

Dean and Gabriel half-heartedly slapped their hands together, not quite looking each other in the eyes. Castiel sighed. Close enough.

Within ten minutes Dean was caught up on the situation, and they were all sat around the kitchen table drinking coffee. Castiel felt a twinge of guilt when he realised that he had left Meg alone in the shop, again... without even telling her. Oh she would be mad.

'Wait. What did that message say again?' asked Dean.

'Which one?'

'The one in Azazel's diary.'

'_He knows about the boy. Tidy up.' _Castiel recited.

'Right, so let's assume 'the boy' is to do with whatever his project is, well what about tidy up? What if he means, get rid of everything?'

Gabriel leaned forwards. 'Go on.'

'So what if something goes wrong, and he needs to get rid of the evidence. That included everyone who knew about it right?' The others nodded. 'So that includes our Dad.'

Castiel frowned. 'Yes Dean, but remember, your father's death rests on my shoulders... we can't pin that on him.'

'Yeah I know, we'll get to that later... but what if he realised that Dad had a journal?'

Castiel frowned. But Gabriel seemed to be getting it. 'So then he might be worried someone else would read about him, in the journal.'

Dean nodded. 'And what if he found out that me and Sam had his journal?'

And now Castiel was getting it. 'He'd want to tie off the loose ends.'

Dean nodded. 'And kill me.'

Gabriel frowned. 'And most likely Sam too.'

They all looked at each other uneasily...Castiel had thought that knowing the identity of Dean's killer might have made him feel better.

But the reality was quite the opposite.


	14. Chapter 13

**AN: I am sooooo sorry it's been so long guys! I don't know if it's because I've been busy... or if I just don't want this fic to end ever! This is no way the last chapter, but we're getting there... and I don't like it! Thank you so much for all the follows and favourites, you guy's rock.**

**(OK so my Beta has gone to bed, but I reeaaaallly just wanted to post this one tonight, so I thought i'd do it now, and correct mistakes tomorrow. So sorry for any errors, they'll be fixed soon.)**

Chapter 13

'Someone should tell Sam.' Castiel said after a while.

Dean sighed. 'Seriously?' he said. 'Seriously?! One day, we should just share the life changing news when everyone is here... ok?'

Gabriel nodded. 'I'll go.'

'Like hell you will.' Dean snorted.

'Dean...' Castiel warned.

Dean glared at Cas for a second, but Castiel met his gaze. This still unnerved Dean slightly. Castiel was one of two people he had met in his life who could out stare him, and the other was Sam. Eventually he gave in.

'Fine.' He muttered.

Gabriel smirked. Seriously, since when did his little brother have Dean Winchester under his thumb? Maybe that's what bringing someone back to life did.

'Cool. I'll go after lunch.' With that, he jumped up and skipped into the kitchen. Castiel heard Gaberiel singing to himself as he opened the fridge, and rolled his eyes.

'One day, I'll be able to eat the food I buy myself.' He joked.

Dean smiled, but the air was still heavy. Castiel could see that Dean's knuckles were white, where he had been clenching them. Dean was obviously worried, no, not worried. Dean was scared. Castiel knew that he'd never admit it. But Dean Winchester was scared, if not for himself then for Sam. Castiel shuffled closer, and raised his hand. He hovered it over Dean's knee, and then over his shoulder, before slamming it down on his own knee in frustration.

Dean laughed. 'Having trouble buddy?'

Castiel glared at him. 'I was trying, to provide some comfort.'

'Well, thanks for trying dude.' He sat further back on the sofa, and turned his head towards Cas.

'Not so easy is it?'

Castiel stayed silent. He wasn't sure if Dean meant it wasn't easy providing comfort in a bleak situation, or if he meant it wasn't easy building a relationship devoid of touch. Either way, Castiel didn't feel an answer was needed.

'Sammy's gonna be ok isn't he?' Dean asked. He tried to smile as he said it, but his voice broke a little.

'He'll be fine Dean. There are three of us looking out for him, not just you...You're not alone.'

Dean stared straight ahead and nodded. His lips were pursed, and Castiel could see that his eye's were glistening slightly, even if he was trying not to let him see.

'Gabriel!' Castiel called.

Gabe popped his head into the living room. 'Yes?'

'Give Dean a hug.'

Gabriel looked confused for a second, and then shrugged. He started towards Dean.

'Whoa!' Dean jumped up and put his hands out to stop Gabriel. 'What the hell man?' He asked Cas.

'It's from me.' Cas stated simply.

Dean frowned, and took a minute to think about it.

'Does that not seem a bit weird to you?' He asked.

'Dean, what about this whole situation _doesn't _seem weird to you?'

Castiel had a point, but still... it was weird! Dean didn't want to hug Gabriel! For one thing, he had _been _with his little brother. He was about to protest, when he looked over at Castiel again.

He sighed. 'Fine. If it makes you freaking happy!' He opened his arms to Gabriel, with a roll of his eyes.

'Alrigggght!' Gabriel shouted, wiggling over to Dean.

Dean stopped his again, placing his index finger on Gabriel's chest. 'No.'

Gabriel pouted, and Dean sighed again. 'Just... just be normal.' He removed his hand, and allowed the smaller man to wrap his arms around him and squeeze.

It was weird. There was no way around it. Dean was out of his comfort zone, and it was weird. He wasn't really a hugger. He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had held him like this, not in a sexual way, but just being there. Him and Sam didn't hug much, they weren't like that. So yeah, it was weird. But when Gabriel sighed a little and pushed his face into Dean's chest, he couldn't stop the corners of his mouth raising just a smidge as he placed his arms across the other man's back.

He looked over at Castiel watching him over Gabriel's shoulder, his eyes were soft. And he was looking at Dean as if to say '_This is from me. They're my arms, it's my love.' _Dean nodded, and closed his eyes. In his mind, the figure he was holding grew a little taller, and a little broader. He could imagine soft black hair brushing against his ear, and when Gabriel whispers 'Cosy!' his voice becomes a little lower, a bit more raspy, and a lot less cocky.

When they pull away, Dean realised that it's the happiest he's felt in a long time.

'Soooooo, I'll be in the kitchen. You know _not _evesdropping on you guys...' Gabriel chirps.

Gabriel flounces out of the room, probably to finish making his food leaving Dean and Castiel alone. It was quiet, but it wasn't awkward. Dean didn't get how Cas did that. If he was standing silently in a room with any other guy, at all... it would be so weird. But with Cas, it just felt... Okay. And Okay was good.

After a second they heard a phone ring in the next room. 'Yelllllooowwp?' Gabriel answered.

They listened to him talk for a while, both of them trying to hear snippets of the conversation. After he hung up, Gabriel emerged from the kitchen. 'Err guys? You're gonna want to grab a coat, you're coming with me. Dean, call Sam and tell him to come too.'

'What's going on?' Castiel asked.

'It looks like Azazel has been using that motel after all, err well... I mean I didn't pay too much attention to it after we saw he'd abandoned his room. But it kiiiinda looks like he just switched rooms?'

Castiel looked exasperated. 'And you didn't think to check this?'

'Hey I've been busy!' Gabriel protested. 'How the hell would I know the guy would be stupid enough to take another room in the same place?'

Dean grimaced. 'Or clever enough to realise you'd never expect him to be there.'

Gabriel's mouth fell open. 'Well whatever... but the point is, he's not there now.'

Castiel exhaled. They just couldn't catch a break.

'But... his stuff is.' Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows. 'So do ya'll want to go check it out before the boys bag it all up as evidence?'

They nodded, dumfounded. Castiel could only hope there would be some new clue. At least, he thought he did. Who knew what they would find.

They pulled up outside a dingy looking motel, in what Gabriel said was record time. They had just got out of the car, when Sam pulled up beside them. He got out, and nodded at them in greeting. His jaw was clenched and Castiel could tell they were all nervous.

Gabriel pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket, and noted the room number before gesturing for them to follow him. At the door, he flashed his badge. When the officer at the door glanced at Dean, Sam and Cas, Gabriel just raised his eyebrows. The man sighed, but let them all in. Dean raised his eye brows at Castiel, impressed. Gabriel had more influence than he let on!

The motel room looked quite normal at first glance, just a questionable bed, couch and bathroom. But after a quick glance around, Gabriel ushered them towards a large walk in wardrobe on the opposite wall.

'And... yeah. Here's the good stuff.' Gabriel said, his voice slightly bitter.

Dean glanced inside and did a double take, because inside was a table. Well not a table, an alter?

'Are those... bones?' Sam asked.

'Looks like.' Castiel gulped. He was standing at the back of the group, and had only caught a glimpse of the inside... but it was enough to make him shudder.

'Well this looks like some serious mojo.' Gabriel said.

Sam took a step forward, and started mumbling to himself, as if he was trying to remember something.

'Whatcha thinking Sammy?' Dean asked.

Sam frowned. 'I think I know this stuff, I've looked at this spell before...'

'What so now you're into spells?'

He grimaced. 'Guilty pleasure. I like to know what Dad did you know?'

Dean nodded, that made sense. He supposed this stuff would be pretty cool if you weren't staring it right in the face.

Sam turned to Dean. 'I think this is, well I think it's meant to bind a reaper. But it doesn't look like it's worked.

'How do you know?' Gabriel asked.

'Well, firstly this version looks a little different to the one's in Dad's book, and online. And secondly, guy's I think we'd know if the guy had bound a reaper. I doubt we'd been alive, and he certainly wouldn't have had to stab Dean!'

'So what you're saying is, that he could use it to kill people?' Dean asked.

Sam nodded. 'In theory. Reapers are powerful man, I mean... do it right and you could take life in an instant, or take it. Anything you want really.'

Sam stretched up, and put his hand to his face. 'I can only assume Azazel is trying to bind a reaper to himself, and guy's we've gotta hope he doesn't manage... because well he's be able to kill us with... '

He trailed off, and turned to look back out of the closet. Dean and Gabriel followed his gaze around to Castiel, who was standing a metre or so behind the others, horror plain upon his face.

'...Well, with a touch.'


	15. Chapter 14

**AN: Update woo. This one was hard to write, and I don't know why. Hope it's ok! (I also had to take some time off to cry over Goodbye Stranger omg) And yeah. Please review! :D **

Chapter 14

'So, what're you saying kiddo?' Gabriel asked slowly, without taking his eyes of Castiel.

'It's all speculation...' Sam started. He received an annoyed glance from Dean, and continued quickly. 'But, I think Azazel may have been trying to control a reaper when we were kids, and accidentally bound it to Castiel instead.'

'Yep. That's what I thought you were saying. Just checking.' Gabriel grimaced. 'Awesome.'

Castiel stared back at the three men who were still gazing on him in disbelief. It couldn't be true. Could it? No. Castiel was sure he would know if he had a monster _bound_ to him. Especially if it had been there his whole life!

_But how would you know? _Part of his brain was chanting. After all, it wasn't like there were no odd signs or symptoms. The ability to raise the dead was a pretty big clue after all. But did this mean something had been following him around his whole life? Just waiting for a chance to kill through him?

'You ok buddy?' Dean asked cautiously. Castiel was almost completely folded over, as if he was going to be sick. He stood up, and nodded at Dean, but only a second later he brought his hand up to cover his mouth and shook his head. The colour was gone from his cheeks as he ran from the room.

Dean strode out behind him. Leaving Gabriel and Sam behind in the motel, sharing worried expressions.

Dean was outside only a few seconds after Castiel, and yet by the time he got there Cas had already slumped down on the pavement, back against the wall. His head was in his knees, and in any other situation, Dean would have simply touched his shoulder to get his attention. However Dean's life was never that simple.

He coughed. 'Cas?...'

There was a pause, and when Castiel spoke, it was quiet and slightly croaky.

'I think I need a minute alone Dean.'

'No'

Castiel looked up in surprise. '...No?'

Dean looked right back at Cas defiantly. 'That's right. No' He took a breath before continuing. 'Thing is man, this doesn't have to be bad. I know it's a shock, but I'm not going to let you sit here and depress yourself!'

'I don't get why you're not bothered by this Dean.' Castiel said, rising to his feet in order to be as close to the same height as Dean as possible.

'I'm just saying, over all the stuff we've found out about, this is the last thing you need to be freaking out about!'

Castiel raised his hands in desperation. 'Well please enlighten me then. Please. Tell me how this is ok Dean!'

'Because it's not you!' Dean practically shouted.

Cas was stunned into silence. He really had no idea what Dean meant. It was him, this thing was most likely bound with him. It was his thing, his parasite.

'What're you talking about.'

Dean held his hand out towards Cas, gesturing up and down his body. 'This thing, this power that you've got. It means it's not coming from you. It's not in you, it's just stuck onto you... and then you know. Maybe we can...'

'...Unstick it.' Castiel finished.

Dean nodded. 'Yeah, and then maybe...'

'We could touch.'

There was a snort in the doorway behind them.

'Please, finishing each other's sentences? Could you two _be _anymore married?'

Gabriel was leaning against the door smirking at them. However, when it became clear that Cas and Dean weren't in the mood to laugh at his jokes, he scowled, and sidled back inside to talk to Sam.

'So it'll be ok?' Castiel asked.

Dean smiled at him. 'Sure it will. Yeah it sucks, but what hasn't recently! Seriously, this could be a good thing.'

Castiel nodded. Now all they needed to do was, find Azazel, get him to unbind the reaper, or find out how to break the spell themselves! Oh, and stay alive while doing it. Shouldn't be too hard.

After another quick scout round the room, they decided to leave. Gabriel assured them he'd have the whole building under 24 hour surveillance, so there really was no point in waiting around anymore. And as Gabriel had said 'what's the point hanging around here when we have more fun, and enormous...ly important things to do.'

He said this with another wink at Sam, which of course, earned him another scowl from Dean. Castiel sighed, he wasn't sure if Dean was ever going to let the 'Sabriel' thing go.

They all stood outside their cars for a while. It was obvious that while Gabriel wanted to go with Sam, he was driving Castiel and Dean home, and therefore couldn't. It was also obvious that Dean didn't want to be dropped off, and know that Gabe was whizzing of to do god knows what with his little brother. Eventually, Castiel suggested that they all head back to his apartment, and have something to eat.

So that's exactly what they did. They went back to Castiel's apartment, and devoured as many left over pieces of pie as they could. Dean especially. The day's events had left them all ravenous, and shaken. Which was probably why they all accepted Castiel's offer of beer.

As the night went on, three out of the four men grew increasingly more intoxicated. Castiel, however remained sober. Mainly because he was enjoying laughing at the others, but also because he was still thinking things over, and he wanted his mind to remain clear.

'Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas. Have another drink go on go on.'

'No thanks, Dean.'

Dean pouted, and fluttered his eyelashes. Honest to God, fluttered them.

Castiel laughed. 'No thanks, Princess?'

Dean breathed out heavily, and frowned at Castiel. He then seemed to take a moment to consider things, and smiled. In an instant, he reached his hand out to ruffle Castiel's hair.

'DEAN!'

'STOP!'

Gabriel and Sam shouted out at the same time, but Dean wasn't deterred. Seconds before impact, Castiel dived backwards, bending awkwardly, but narrowly avoiding Dean's touch. Lying back on the sofa, Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.

Gabriel rushed over, and put a steadying hand on Dean's chest. 'Okay Drunky! Let's put you over here, away from the grim reaper shall we?'

He led a hurt looking Dean away, and Castiel glanced over at Sam expecting to see another disbelieving expression. However Sam had already started to giggle again. Castiel rolled his eyes. Children. His friends were children, with access to alcohol.

He glanced at his watch, it was only 9.00, but none of the others were in a fit state to drive and he didn't fancy letting them walk back through NY any later.

'Come on then. I'll walk you home Sam.'

Gabriel sauntered over smirking. 'Excuuuuuse you. I think I'll be the one walking Sammy home.' He wiggled his eyebrows, earning him another personalised eye roll from Castiel.

'You're coming too. There is no way, I am letting either of you go anywhere alone in your current state. I'm not making two trips though, so Gabe you're staying at Sam's.'

'Woohoo!' Gabriel and Sam cheered at the same time, and high fived.

'Awesome, I'm coming too!' Dean said, trying to stand up.

Castiel sighed. 'No you're not. You're going to bed.'

'I'm not a child Castiel!' Dean pouted.

'Yes, but you nearly killed yourself touching me before. Go to bed.'

Dean opened his mouth to protest, but then saw the look on Castiel's face and stopped. He nodded, and lay back on the sofa, closing his eyes.

The walk to Sam's apartment was tedious, to say the least. At least for Castiel. It was a fairly long trip anyway, and it wasn't made shorter by Sam and Gabriel stopping every ten metres to look at something. Honestly, you would think they had never seen a fire hydrant before.

Two dogs, a collision with an innocent homeless man, and one terrible rendition of 'Defying Gravity' later, they arrived at the apartment block, where Castiel bundled them into the lift, and pushed past them to select the right button.

Once outside the door, Sam reached into his pockets and found his keys. His face contorted with confusion, and he started patting himself down.

Castiel sighed. 'What have you lost Sam?'

'My wallet, I must have dropped it on the walk over! I have to go back and get it!'

Castiel put a hand out to stop him. 'No, Sam, it's fine. I'll look for it. I'm going back that way anyway. I'll call you when I find it.'

Sam slapped him on the back and nodded, before unlocking the door and ushering Gabriel inside. They said goodnight, and Castiel headed back towards the lift. He could hear them giggling until the doors closed.

He walked home with his eyes glued to the floor, but he honestly wasn't expecting to find anything. Most likely Sam had left it behind, or missed it in his pocket. At any rate, if it had been left on the streets of New York, it would have been taken by now.

However he was wrong. A few blocks later, he stumbled upon a leather wallet. It was slap bang in the middle of the pavement, right by where Sam had ran into the homeless man. Honestly, Castiel thought. If Sam wasn't so clumsy he wouldn't have lost it!

He picked it up, and flicked through the contents to check it was Sam's. He quickly found a driving license and pulled out his phone to call Sam.

It rang three times, and then there was a lot of fumbling around before anyone answered.

'Sam can't come to the phone right now, he's... busy.'

Castiel groaned. 'Gabriel?'

'Bingo! What do you want little bro? I'm in the middle of things.'

Castiel grimaced. 'Well tell Sam I've found his wallet. He can pick it up tomorrow.'

'Sure thing Cassie!' And with that, Gabriel hung up.

Castiel stared at the phone for a second, before pocketing it along with the wallet. He turned to continue walking, when a hand was clamped down over his mouth. A hand holding something soft, and wet.

Castiel tried to scream, but choked instead. His airways were filling with a strong chemical stench that was burning his sinuses. Eyes widening, he lashed out, trying to fend off his attacker, but they have a firm hold on him from behind, and he can't reach them.

He tries once more to make a sound, but the edges of his vision are starting to blur. And in the final second before he passes out, Castiel thinks that Dean will be too drunk to notice he isn't home, at least until the morning.

Despair floods his brain, and everything goes black.

**AN: SO YEAH IT'S HEATING UP Y'ALL**


	16. Chapter 15

**WARNING: ****This Chapter is not only long, but also sad. There will be torture, and character death. And I am sorry. **

**AN:** **Sorry for leaving you all on a cliffhanger, I am afraid I'm about to do it again. This is the last chapter but there will be an epilogue. And all is not lost. Much love. **

Chapter 15

Castiel woke up in the dark. There was a faint whirring sound, but that could be anything really. No clues.

His head was pounding, but as he attempted to raise his hand to his temple to soothe it, it became clear that his hands were tied down to the arms of whatever he was sitting on.

It took him a few minutes for his mind to clear of the fog that had been worming through his brain since he had woken. But as the fog lifted, the fear descended. He was cold, he was restrained, he didn't know where he was. And he was alone. For now anyway.

The darkness scared him. Castiel had never feared the dark before, but now he did. It was unknown. It was holding him back, and keeping him from enlightenment. Literally.

The darkness was complete, unbelievably so. Not a glimmer of light. This suggested to Castiel that is was still the middle of the night, and with a sinking feeling, he realised that none of his friends, or Dean would even notice he was gone until the morning.

It was too dark. As Cas became more aware, and less drug addled he realised it was too dark to be possible. When he thought about it, he could feel a faint pressure over his eyes and around his ears. He was blindfolded. There was hope. It could be morning already. People could be looking for him.

He pulled at his arms once again, no luck. He could feel pressure not only around his wrists, but just below his elbows as well. Thick straps by the feel of it. While his feet were free, it didn't matter. His waist was secured. There was no way Castiel was moving out of that chair without help, or a sharp object. He had neither.

He started humming quietly to himself, a song he hadn't even realised he knew. Something Dean liked probably. He was always singing around the house, the thought calmed him, and helped him regain clarity. Dean was his rock, and quite possibly the reason he was in this mess in the first place.

At several points he thought he heard footsteps and froze, but eventually he decided he must have imagined them. He could only hope that when someone did come, they would be coming to his rescue, but he knew that was unlikely. It was hard not to let fear swallow him.

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear, is fear of the unknown."

Yes, Castiel believed that. The movements in the dark. Haunting.

He had no idea how long had passed since he regained consciousness. He hoped that it was a long time. He hoped that his kidnapper had gone away, to rest or prepare or whatever. He hoped that they were not returning any time soon. Because whoever they were, it was clear from the way he was restrained, that they meant business. And however much he tried to convince himself that it was coincidence, he knew that this was to do with Dean's killing, and his reaper 'issue'. Deep down, he knew this was Azazel.

Time passed. Castiel had no way of telling how long, but he thought it was probably a couple of hours. And then finally, when Castiel was starting to fear, (or hope he wasn't entirely sure) that he would be left alone for ever, he heard footsteps approaching. Solid footsteps, not like the phantom ones he's been hearing for the past few hours. Real ones, it was unmistakeable. He could hear the clump of boots, heavy against concrete. And a slight splash. Wet concrete?

He felt a presence behind him, and heard the swish of a blade. He gasped, as the blindfold fell from his eyes. He squinted in the sunlight for a second, and then glanced around, taking in his surroundings. He was in a warehouse of some sort. An old one, the roof had caved in, in several places, and rainwater had seeped through. Castiel doubted they were in the city anymore. His heart sunk. Dean's body was found in a warehouse.

His captor strolled round to Castiel's front, although Cas still couldn't get a good look at him. He sidled out of view for a second, and returned with a chair, which he placed back to Castiel. The man straddled it, and leaned over into Castiel's space.

He was grinning, almost manically. He reminded Castiel of a dog, tired of chasing it's own tail, and ready for something new to chew. His eyes were focused on Castiel's, and they were amber. Almost yellow in the morning light. He breathed out, and the tang of his breath made Castiel shudder. Castiel had no choice but to sit as the stranger examined him. His mouth was dry, and he didn't think he would be physically able to speak, even if he had the courage.

'Well. You're not the fish I intended to catch, but I bet you know where he is don't cha?'

Castiel remained silent, mainly because he had no idea what this man was talking about.

Azazel, or at least Cas assumed he was Azazel leaned even further forward, so his face was only inches away from Castiel's.

'I think you and me need to have a little chat, don't we bucko?'

Castiel grimaced. The man's words were friendly, but his tone was menacing. He had stood up now, and retreated away a few steps. He began to circle Castiel, as he spoke.

'Now then. I want Sam Winchester. You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?'

Castiel's breath caught in his chest. The man was after Sam, they had been right. He really was trying to wipe the Winchesters off the map. He swallowed deeply, and attempted to summon a reply.

'No.' He attempted to sound nonchalant. But then realised it was ridiculous considering his current predicament.

'Reaally?' The man drawled. 'Because it was you that picked up Sam's wallet.'

Castiel opened his mouth, to say something about how anyone would pick up a wallet on the street and try to return it, when the other man raised a finger to silence him.

'Aaaand then called up Sam Winchester, to tell him you'd found it.'

He crouched, so he was eye level with Cas. 'And, oh what was it? Oh yes. You said you'd give it to him in the morning. Seems like you know him pretty well bucko.'

He swooped round so he was beside Cas and whispered in his ear. 'so are you going to tell me where he is? Or am I going to have to poke it out of you?'

Castiel gluped, but remained silent.

'Alright then? You can call me Azazel. It's not my real name, but hey. It's something to scream out right?' He laughed. 'And what do I call you.'

Castiel looked at the floor. So Azazel didn't know who he was. Well that was something at least. Castiel was sure that whatever was coming would be a lot worse if Azazel knew that the person before him, was the child from years ago.

Azazel looked at Castiel for a few seconds, before growling and kicking Castiel hard in the shin. 'Name!' He growled.

Castiel's eyes were watering, 'Jim' He coughed out.

Azazel smiled, and something glinted in his eyes. 'Okay then Jimmy. Shall we get started?'

Dean Winchester woke up with his skull pounding. He remembered only snippets from last night, but what he did remember was embarrassing. He had been too drunk. He moved through the flat carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible. But found It empty. He frowned. Perhaps Castiel had stayed over at Sam's. It was pretty late when he had walked them home after all.

After a few minutes, he decided to call him. His phone wasn't on. Strange. He rang Sam's house instead, and after a few rings his brother answered. He sounded about as good as Dean felt.

'Hey Sam, is Cas there?'

'Dean... no he's not. Why would he be?'

Dean's stomach dropped. 'Well, he's not here. You sure he didn't crash at yours last night?'

Sam frowned. 'No, he called me while he was walking home. He'd found my wallet.'

'Shit' Dean swore. 'So what you're saying is that no one's heard from Cas in...' He glanced at his watch. It was almost eleven. 'Twelve hours?'

'Oh crap. Dean, you don't think he's in trouble?'

Dean frowned and shut his eyes. 'I... I don't know Sammy. But we better find him ok?'

'Ok, I'll wake Gabe, and we'll walk from here to yours, see if there's any sign of him.'

Dean nodded, and then realised that he was on the phone and Sam couldn't see him. 'Okay.'

'Dean, he'll be alright.'

Dean made a non committal noise and hung up. Castiel could be fine, he knew that. But every bone in his body was telling him that he wasn't. Cas was in trouble, and Dean needed to save him.

Castiel raised his head and chuckled defiantly. It was the best he could manage at the minute, considering he could taste blood in his mouth. So far Azazel had only hit him, and he was holding out well. Castiel had taken a beating or two at school. He could take it. He knew it couldn't last forever though. He could see Azazel growing gradually more frustrated at his lack of speech. He had obviously taken Cas for an easy target.

Azazel met Castiel's eyes, and Cas paled. There was a rabid look in them now. 'Fine' He snarled. 'I can see I'll need to try something, a little more substantial.'

Still grinning, he reached into his belt and drew out a blade. Castiel looked down quickly. He didn't want to let the fear in his eyes show. Because while Castiel was tough, he was a baker. Not a soldier. He had a limited pain threshold, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he broke.

Castiel felt a cold pressure of his chin, and yielded to it, allowing Azazel to raise his head using the knife. 'This is going to be so much fun.' He crooned.

He circled Castiel once more, considering where to hurt first, and also building up the suspense. He knew he would crack the man faster if he was afraid.

Suddenly, he yanked up Castiel's sleeve, exposing flesh. Castiel felt the cold metal scrape down his skin, and felt nothing. Only numbness. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all, perhaps he was stronger than he thought he was.

And then Azazel applied pressure to the knife. And Castiel screamed.

Dean was running. He had tried to be calm, but it failed. He had searched without any luck for a long time. And then Gabriel had called him. He had asked around at the office and found a report of unusual activity in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. Things being moved in. Not that unusual at all really, but considering Azazel had dumped Dean's body in a similar place, Gabriel thought it was worth checking there for clues.

So Dean was running. Sweat drenched his clothes, and his breathing was heavy. But he couldn't bear to slow down. There was no way he would let Castiel get hurt just because he was slow. If there was anything at the warehouse that could lead him to Castiel, then he needed to get there fast.

Time was not on his side.

Castiel's eyelids fluttered open. He had passed out. He could hear dripping coming from somewhere, and realised that is was his own blood, pooling on the floor. He had lost track of where it was coming from. He hurt everywhere. But he hadn't said anything, and that was good. If Azazel found Sam and Dean, it wouldn't be his fault. He couldn't let it.

'Real tough cookie aren't you?' Azazel chirped. He seemed unconcerned, and was acting like he had all the time in the world. He probably did.

Castiel coughed, and wished he hadn't. His rubs hurt. 'I try.' He muttered.

There was movement in the corner by the door. But Castiel ignored it. A pigeon, or a rat perhaps. Nothing that would help.

Azazel tilted his head, and surveyed Castiel. 'Now where haven't we sliced?'

He reached out his knife, and cut the buttons off Castiel's shirt exposing his chest, which was bruised from the beating earlier, but otherwise untouched. 'Here we go.' He whispered.

Castiel looked up, and their eyes met for a second, Azazel flashed his teeth at Cas, before lashing out, and carving a crude 'A' into Castiel's chest.

Cas cried out, but he wasn't the only one. Out of the shadows leapt Dean. Unable to hold himself back at the sight of Castiel in pain, he had barrelled forwards towards Azazel, who reached out an arm at the last moment, and struck Dean in the chest, sending him flying.

'Winchester.' Azazel muttered. 'Although not the one I was expecting... Now correct me if I'm wrong kiddo. But I've killed you before haven't I?'

Dean looked up at him, and nodded. His eyes full of hatred.

'Now that's... fascinating. How did that happen then? Because let me tell you Dean-o, I don't do mistakes. You were dead.'

Dean said nothing, but his eyes flicked to Castiel for a spilt second, and Azazel didn't miss it.

His eyes grew wide, and turned back to Castiel. 'Been keeping secrets have we boy?'

Comprehension dawned on his face. 'Boy...' he turned to Dean. 'Childhood friends are we?'

Dean started to shake his head. But Azazel kicked him hard in the stomach. 'Now don't _lie_ Dean. I don't appreciate being lied too. Isn't that right...Jimmy?'

He leaned in close so he was eye to eye with Cas. 'Or is it Castiel?'

Cas shook his head frantically, but Azazel just chuckled, without humour and dug his thumb into one of Cas's wounds.

'You're good at keeping a low profile I'll give you that. I assumed the kid that had got my reaper was out of the way. It should have killed you, I mean you have no idea how to control it? But no. It seems like you've stumbled by.'

He stood up, and spun around. 'So Dean, looks like I wont have to kill you after all? If I'm right... I can get your buddy Cas to do it for me. One touch right?'

Cas jolted upright, and looked at Dean with a fearful expression that broke Dean's heart. Azazel spun around and slashed out at Cas. Cas groaned, as Azazel grabbed his shirt and pulled him forwards out of the chair, having cut Castiel's bindings in a few fluid motions.

Still grasping his shirt, he drew Castiel up to face him. 'And then we'll fix your little problem, I'll get my reaper. And you wont feel anything ever again. Everyone wins.'

Castiel summoned all of his strength, and spat in Azazel's face. It was bloody, and the other man growled, and threw Castiel to the floor. He laughed as Cas thudded to the ground, and put a foot squarely on Cas's chest, causing him to grit his teeth.

'No. That's not how this is going down, i'm going to make you kill your friend, I'm going to kill you, claim my prize, and then kill little Sammy too. Just for good measure.'

Castiel's vision was blurred, but he could see a figure appear behind Azazel, who had apparently let his guard down.

'I don't think so you son of a bitch.' Dean hissed. In one sharp movement he reached round Azazel's head, and slit his throat from ear to ear, with his own knife. The killer crumpled to the ground, and lay staring at Castiel, the glint no longer in his eyes.

Dean sank to his knees. He was shaking. He rubbed his hands on his trousers frantically, trying to clean them of blood, but to no avail. He had killed a person. No, he had killed a monster. A monster that had hurt Castiel.

'Dean.' Castiel croaked. Dean dropped the knife, and moved over to where Castiel was lying. His friend was covered in blood.

'Whoa, ok man it's fine. Cas look at me. You're just a bit beat up. I'll call an ambulance. Look, just...' he reached back and took of his jacket and shirt. 'Hold these where you're bleeding.'

'Dean... stop.' Cas whispered. Carefully, Castiel pulled back his blood soaked shirt, to reveal a wound in his stomach, that was a lot worse than a scratch.

Dean stared at him in horror. 'When...'

'When he cut the bindings... Guess he... slipped.' Castiel laughed, causing blood to spill from his abdomen.

Dean stood up and started pacing back and forth with his hands in his head. 'No no no. Cas stop it. Stop it, you're fine. You hear me you bastard? Fine!'

Cas looked up at Dean, and Dean knew Castiel wasn't ok. He was too pale, too clammy. There was too much blood. Castiel was dying.

Dean collapsed down near Castiel's head, and placed his hands on his knees. 'Cas...' he started. There was so much he needed to say...

Castiel looked up, and their eyes met. 'I know.' Said Cas.

The minutes ticked by, and Dean was sitting in silence, praying that the ambulance he'd called would arrive soon. Maybe there was still hope? He glanced back to Cas. His eyes were closed, and his face contorted in pain. It wasn't looking good. Azazel's voice sounded loud in his brain...'One touch' After a moment he spoke.

'I can't do this man, I-' Dean's voice broke. 'I can't do this without you.'

Cas's breathing is laboured now, the amount of blood soaking through his shirt is astounding, and Dean is having to hold back sobs.

'We'll go together.' Dean say's firmly.

'No Dean.' Cas rasps, 'I won't let you.'

'You don't have a choice man.'

Castiel laughed grimly. 'We're like Romeo and Julliet.'

Dean pursed his lips and looked down at his knees. 'I fucking hate those guys.' He muttered.

Cas started to laugh, and ended up coughing. Wincing at each new intake of breath.

'I'm Romeo.' Dean smiles, although his face is wet with tears and grime.

'You... wish.'

Castiel looked up at Dean and smiled. All that needed to be said had been. Slowly, Dean lay down beside Castiel, propping himself up on one elbow. Face to face. They stayed like this for a second. Breathing in each others breath, each soaking in the warmth and smell of the other. Dean looked at Castiel, who was also crying now. Although Dean wasn't sure whether it was in pain, or grief.

'Ready?' Dean asked.

Castiel shook his head.

'That's the spirit.' Dean winked. 'Kicking and screaming Cas.'

Castiel had never noticed how laborious breathing was. How hard it was to live. Things he had taken for granted for years were slipping away from him, and he couldn't stop it.

'Castiel.' Said Dean, pulling Castiel back to reality once more.

'Castiel.' More gently this time.

Their eyes met, and Dean lifted his hand and hovered it over Castiel's. Slowly he leaned in, and with one last effort, Cas raised his head to meet Dean. A pause, and then their lips met.

Time slowed. A second dragged on, and for a moment, the love and pain both men were feeling flowed between them through the kiss. It said 'I love you.' It said 'I need you.' And it said 'I'll miss you.'

Goodbye. And then it was over, Dean slumped onto Castiel and became a dead weight. Castiel summoned all the strength he had remaining, and wrapped Dean in his arms. Holding Dean close, as Castiel slipped from the world.

**AN: THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE. I am so so so so so sorry for this chapter, but I felt I had to write it. All is not as hopeless as it seems, although I know it's hard to see that right now. Thank you so much to everyone who has read that. I love you all. **


	17. Epilogue

Epilogue 

When Sam and Gabriel eventually entered the warehouse, it didn't take them long to figure out what had happened. Azazel's body lay a few feet away from Dean and Castiel. Sam and Gabriel spent a while watching their respective brothers. Castiel was still cradling Dean in his arms, although he had breathed his last breath hours before. If they weren't so covered in blood they would have looked like lovers that had fallen asleep together.

And really, that's what they were in the end. Gabriel made a few phone calls, and brought the boys in to tidy up. He made sure Dean and Castiel were looked after personally. And once he was satisfied, Sam and Gabriel left the warehouse together.

Time will pass, and they will stay together. The world continues to turn. People continue with their everyday lives. Monsters still move in the dark, and people still die.

In a different place altogether, Castiel Novak sits on a bench, in a beautiful garden. The sun is shining, and he takes a deep breath, sucking in the smells of life all around him.

It's peaceful, and Castiel thinks he is in paradise. In fact, he is.

Just then, a sound other than birdsong pierces the air.

'Dude, come inside you've been out here ages.'

The voice of Dean Winchester. The most beautiful sound Castiel has ever heard.

'I'm happy here Dean.' Say's Cas, rolling his eyes.

'Yeah well this is your part isn't it?' Dean muttered. 'You would be.'

Castiel smiled at him. 'I hadn't thought about it like that, I guess it is.'

Dean chuckled. 'You hadn't considered that there is a beautiful garden here, and right over there... your pie shop... with a built in bar? Come on man... I think we can tell which bits are here for who.'

Dean reached out his hand. 'Come on Cas, let's have some fun.' He winked.

Castiel reached out and gripped Dean's hand. Skin to skin. A touch. Castiel knew he would never take it for granted again.

'I'm still not sure if we're allowed to do that here...' Castiel muttered.

Dean rolled his eyes. 'Oh come on Cas! This is our space! I'm pretty sure we're allowed to do a little cloud seeding if we want...'

'Dean!' Castiel hissed. Dean smirked at him, and Castiel crumbled and allowed himself to be led in from the garden.

Because he was with the man he loved, forever. In their own little patch of paradise.

Because as anyone who has studied the matter knows, every soul generates it's own utopia. But on occasion two souls are so melded, that paradise becomes one.

Soul mates share a space in heaven, and that was fine by Castiel.

THE END

**AN: SURPRISE QUICK UPDATE. I COULDN'T LEAVE YOU ALL WAITING AGAIN. This has been a wonderful experience. I'm sorry I killed them, but it turned out ok ish... right? Anyway I hope you guys like it. **


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